


Unexpected Kindess

by meantforinfinitesadness



Series: Infinite Sadness [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nightmares, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Nap, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi, Post-Order 66, Sick Obi-Wan Kenobi, Tears, beru is too kind to this sad boy, stormtroopers - Freeform, the lars' just want to help, though it's interrupted by nightmares and flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 22,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23299210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meantforinfinitesadness/pseuds/meantforinfinitesadness
Summary: Right, he had fallen asleep in his clothes, completely drained from the news that-“I’m coming in!” Beru Whitsun bursts into his new home in all her glory. Her eyes frantically race around the room until they land on him. Her body stills and he can only imagine how he must look. He plasters a smile on his face in the hopes that she’ll not worry.It doesn’t work.
Relationships: Bail Organa/Breha Organa, Owen Lars/Beru Whitesun
Series: Infinite Sadness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675555
Comments: 151
Kudos: 259





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bored and I've made a series of this. It's not going to be good because, again, I know nothing of star wars. I watch the movies, clone wars and read lots of fics, plus some books (but those are all legends books so...) so that's where knowledge be coming from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edits made 8/18/20

_ The heat and weariness that overwhelm him do nothing to cover the cries of anguish coming from in front of him. His heart aches as he eyes the downed man in front of him. _

_ “I HATE YOU!” Oh, how his heart breaks a little more. He does all he can to keep the tears at bay.  _

_ “You were my brother Anakin!” It comes out stronger than he thought it would. “I loved you.” It’s softer this time, his heart breaking for the final time and he’s left wondering how it’s still beating. He turns his back on his fallen brother and forces his weary body to climb the hill. Cries of pain follow him up the hill. He wants to turn, to see him one last time. He stops himself and finishes his climb. His legs barely hold him up as he reaches the top.  _

“Kenobi!” 

Ben Kenobi (not Obi-Wan, he can’t be him anymore) bolts into a sitting position, chest heaving and sweat clinging to his body. It takes a moment for reality to reach him. His eyes track around the place he finds himself in and it all comes back to him. Tatooine.

“Kenobi!” The yell comes again and he can’t stop himself from jumping at the force of the yell or the banging that joins it. “Ben!” 

He blinks and shakes himself, breathing slowly and muttering the Code to himself. He stands and finds himself already dressed.

Right, he had fallen asleep in his clothes, completely drained from the news that-

“I’m coming in!” Beru Whitesun bursts into his new home in all her glory. Her eyes frantically race around the room until they land on him. Her body stills and he can only imagine how he must look. He plasters a smile on his face in the hopes that she’ll not worry. 

It doesn’t work.

She bolts to him and it’s all he can do to keep from flinching. His mind is still raw from the nightmare (though, nightmares aren’t usually so vivid and real for him) and he knows she can see the way he tenses slightly.

“Owen told me he saw you yesterday.” She tells him. 

He blinks at her, confused at the concern that traces her words.

“I was just doing some shopping. “ He presses out, a smile still plastered across his face. “I’m sorry I caused such a commotion in your home.” He knows what this is about. Owen must have ranted and raved to his wife about seeing the Jedi out in the open.

“No,” She starts.

Ben raises an eyebrow and his smile slips a little. 

“You didn’t cause a commotion.” He finds that hard to believe. “He was worried.”

Ben takes a step back and his forehead creases. 

“Worried?” He questions.

Beru bites her lip and steps towards him, once again invading his personal space. 

“It seems he had every reason to be worried.” 

“What?” Anything else he wants to say is blurred from his mind as the slightly shorter body of the woman barrels into him. Arms lock around his body and he flinches from the contact. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, not letting go of the confused Jedi. 

“There’s no need-”

“There’s every need.” She bites out. He clamps his mouth shut and slumps a little in her hold. “I heard what happened. He’s alive.” 

His body seems to shut down and he collapses as though strings were cut from his being. Beru falls with him and he thinks he utters out an apology. She brushes it aside and lifts her head to gaze into his eyes. Her eyes soften as she brings her arms from around his body. She clasps his face in her hands and forces eye contact.

There’s a tightness in Ben’s throat that he can’t seem to get rid of. 

“I’m sorry.” Her apology causes the dam to break and the first tears to fall. “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling.” His cries grow and her face is blurred by tears. She gathers him into a hug. His face is pressed into her neck. If she’s uncomfortable, she doesn’t say anything. She just rocks him gently as sobs wrack his body.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed before his tears finally slow. He’s exhausted and he knows he’s putting weight on the woman, but she still says nothing about it. 

“I think this settles it.” He makes a questioning noise into her neck at her statement. “You’re staying with us tonight.” He shakes his head, trying to deter the woman. But she, like all the other women Ben’s known throughout his life, is stubborn. “I’m not letting you stay here alone tonight. In fact, I won’t let you stay alone for a good while.”

“Owen-”

“Can sleep outside if he says anything against my plan.” Ben lets out a chuckle at her words. “So?” 

He lifts his head and she tsks and dries his face with her hands. 

“I don’t think you’re giving me much choice.” His mumble is met with a chuckle from both of them. 

“Get what you need. We’re leaving.”


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. this one's not great. I'm not too happy with it and I bs'd my way through it. enjoy
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

His eyes are locked onto the entrance of Beru and Owen’s home. He can hear Beru faintly as she rummages around the speeder that brought them there. His fingers are clutching the bag that held the belongings he thought were necessary, and he wouldn’t be surprised if they had turned white from the force of his grip.

“You could have gone in,” Beru tells him softly. Ben nods lightly, swallowing thickly as he turns to her. 

“He’s right inside.” He mumbles. She doesn’t ask who he means, and he’s grateful. 

“Owen won’t bite.” She pats his arm, then grips it as she ushers him forwards.

“Did you tell him where you had gone?” Ben didn’t want to cause any trouble, though trouble always seemed to find him. Her silence is answer enough and he digs his heels into the sand. It doesn’t do much to stop her, but she does and turns to him. “Maybe I should go back.” He mumbles, not meeting her gaze as he continues to stare at the home. 

“The only way you’re going back is by speeder.” She informs him. “I’m not driving you back, and you won’t steal it from us.” He opens his mouth to speak, but she stops him. “I won’t let you walk all the way there either.” She tells him softly, the grip on his arm going soft as she rubs it. “It’ll be fine.” She doesn’t ask him to trust her or that she would promise him anything.

Ben finds this slightly comforting. He nods his head, tightening his grip on the bad once more and allows the woman to lead him to her home. 

His shields tighten the second he steps foot into the house. The crying of a child takes his attention, but he can hear Beru call for her husband.

“Owen!” The world seems to stop as the man in question enters the room. The child wails loudly in his arms and his face is pained. 

“He won’t stop crying.” The man says over the loud cries of the infant. 

Ben doesn’t think Owen has really noticed him yet. Beru looks to the silent man and her face takes on a pleading look. He shakes his head and looks at Owen.

Owen’s face hardens, before smoothing out again. Ben is confused by the sudden shift of facial expression, but then he remembers that Beru had said Owen was worried about him.

“It’s best if you let him cry. Just rock him.” Ben’s voice comes out ragged but soft. Owen shakes his head and finally walks to the other two. Ben takes a step back, fearing slightly for things that won’t happen. Owen stops abruptly.

“I tried that.” He tells the Jedi. “He won’t stop, I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want food, he won’t sleep, and rocking him just seems to make things worse.” He hands the baby to Beru, possibly thinking that being held by someone maternal would ease the wailing.

It doesn’t.

“What would you have me do?” Ben asks, fearing the answer. It had only been a few months since he had dropped the child off, and he could already see the boy growing in the Force. 

Owen flutters his hands as he tries to think of the right thing to say. He gives up and sighs. “Use your Force power thing.” 

Ben’s mouth twitches into a slight smile before dropping again. He takes a deep breath and releases the death grip he has on the bag. It falls to the ground silently. Ben walks closer to Beru and gently takes the child from her. The crying dies down a little as curiosity takes hold of the tiny person in Ben’s arms. He can feel the curious nature of the child and knows that’ll cause problems in the future. 

“Hello there.” He whispers, pulling the child close to his chest. Cries start to fall to whimpers and finally, as Ben passes a hand over the child’s head, the cries stop, and the child loses to sleep. 

One would think that giving a sleep suggestion to a child would be easier than giving one to a grown adult. 

One would be wrong.

A child’s mind, though not completely developed, is a wild one. Curiosity reaches out and floods all other emotions. It brings them joy to see and feel new things. It gets them excited, and an excited child is a very awake child.

So, it’s no surprise that Ben’s vision wavers slightly. Distantly, he can hear concern ring through the home. He blinks to push back the spots in his vision. He feels heavy and so very tired. He has enough sense to hand the baby to Beru.

His world tumbles into darkness long before he feels the ground meet his body.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you how much I love seeing your comments!! It really does mean so much! Thank you!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

_ His head buzzed and his body ran cold. His hands shook as he knelt. He lightly brushed the hair from the child’s face. Her eyes were open, but unseeing. The burn in his throat warned him of tears, but he pushed them down even as his vision blurred.  _

_ He dared to lift his eyes and regretted it instantly. Bodies lined the floor. Younglings lying as though asleep. But he knew better. They weren’t sleeping. How could they be?  _

“-en!”

_ His heart ached as he gazed out upon them all. Lightsaber wounds.  _

“-ke up!”

_ The temple was cold and dull. It was crying, and he couldn’t blame his home. The loss of children wasn’t something you could ignore. A clawed hand clutched his shoulder and he dropped his head. He opened his mouth to speak- _

“Ben!” Ben’s eyes flew open as the world rushed into view. He rushed upwards and nearly banged heads with someone. His heart raced and his cheeks felt wet. He brought trembling hands up to his face. Tears? “Are you alright?” Ben flinched and met the eyes of the person in front of him.

“Owen.” He whispered out, feeling dazed and a bit lost. His mind raced as he tried to remember what had occurred. He felt his face warm as memories flashed through his mind. He gave the man an embarrassed smile. “Apologies. I didn’t mean to-”

Owen cut him off, “Are you alright?” Ben took the man in and his embarrassed smile softened as he took in the odd concern running across his face.

“Of course.” Owen raised a disbelieving eyebrow and Ben’s smile faltered. Crying rang out through the Lars’ home. Ben winced and rubbed a hand down his face. “I seem to have woken Luke up.” He mumbles, locking one eye with Owen’s. 

“What do you mean?” Owen asks. 

Ben nibbles on his bottom lip as he thinks. 

“I may have accidentally broadcasted my nightmare to the child.” His voice is full of apology that he hopes gets across to the man. “It happened a few times during the war.” Ben’s face softens and he lowers his hand. “I always felt bad. I never meant to broadcast and dear Ana-” He cuts himself off and squeezes his eyes closed for a moment before opening them again. “I should go check on him.”

“What did you dream?” Owen’s concern stops him from rising completely off the couch. He swallows thickly and forces the images from his mind. Owen quickly backtracks. “You don’t have to tell me.” 

It’s Ben’s turn to raise an eyebrow at the man.

Owen never liked him. It was just a fact. So, Ben had expected further questioning. He had expected Owen to demand answers.

The fact that he didn’t push was new. It sent Ben’s mind reeling.

“He won’t stop crying.” Beru’s voice breaks the two out of their odd staring match. Ben blinks rapidly and rises from his spot. He walks to the woman and sends her a soft smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes and one that sends concern over her face. 

“It’s my fault.” Confusion replaces concern as Beru looks first to the Jedi, then to her husband. Ben presses two fingers onto Luke’s forehead.

“He had a nightmare,” Owen states though it sounds distant to Ben as he builds thicker shields in Luke’s mind. “Said it was broadcasted to Luke.” Silence, then, “He didn’t mean to.” 

With the shields built once more, the wailing stopped and Luke fell into a deep sleep. Ben wobbles where he stands, and feels a supporting hand on his back.

“What was it?” Beru asks and Ben can feel Owen wants to say something, but he beats the man to it.

“If you put Luke back in his crib, I’ll tell you.” He whispers, heart-clenching as he thinks through what he just said.

“You don’t have to-” Owen starts, but again Ben cuts him off.

He smiles thinly, eyes drifting to Beru’s. “Healing has to start somewhere.” 

She smiles and it’s one filled with love and concern and it blinds Ben for a moment. She puts a hand on his face. 

“Yes, it does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's gonna try healing??? What????? Our boy? Our Ben? HELL YEAH


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not too happy with this chapter, but we'll see how it goes.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

_ “Start with the dream.”  _ A breath in. 

_ “Which one?”  _ A breath out.  _ He had asked the question with a joking smile on, but it quickly fell when he noticed the looks the couple had sent. They looked sad.  _

_ “How many have there been?”  _ A breath in followed a loosening of fingers.  _ His silence seems to be a good enough answer for the two. “How about you start with the one you had when you got here.”  _ A final breath out as he locks eyes with Owen and Beru.

“How much do you know about what happened?” He asks them, curious about their knowledge of the fall of his family and friends. Owen and Beru trade looks.

“We know the Jedi were declared traitors. That they tried to kill the Chancellor.” Beru supplies, looking at Owen. 

“We know your men shot at you,” Owen adds. Ben’s breathing hitches, but he nods. 

“You don’t know what happened inside the temple then.” It’s not a question. He knows they don’t know. It was never broadcasted, but he does wonder about-

“What happened?” Owen asks in a soft voice, and Ben still can’t come to terms with the fact that the man hasn’t yelled at him. That he hasn’t been chased away. “Is that what your dream was?” 

Ben nods, lowering his eyes to the table they decided to move to. They were all in close perimeter with each other, rather than far apart like they would have been had they stayed in the first room. 

“Have you ever felt numb? Had a ringing in your ears that just won’t stop?” He doesn’t wait for answers. “It’s stayed with me since I entered the temple. When I went in, it felt cold. I had never felt the temple like that. My mind was empty; there was no warmth there.” He chews his bottom lip and his leg bounces.  _ Odd,  _ he thinks,  _ I’ve never had that tick before.  _ “Did you know that lightsaber wounds don’t bleed?” He watches them nod their heads. “There was no blood to give anything away.”

“I didn’t see anything until I had been walking for a few minutes.” He swallows thickly, thinking of how he would tell them what happened. “We’re not baby stealers, y’know. The younglings were given to us by their parents. We had children of all ages living in that temple.” He pauses. “I don’t think I fully realized how much life they brought to the temple until that night. During the war, I saw many children fallen to blaster bolts and lightsabers.” The burn in the back of his throat is back. “It’s something else entirely when you knew the children.” He whispers, keeping his eyes on the table. “They’re bodies lined the floor of the temple. Younglings crowded together. Chrechemasters lying not far from them with their lightsabers only a few inches from their hands.” Tears start to fall, but he doesn’t find the strength to lift his hand and wipe them away. 

“A few had hidden in the council chambers, probably thinking they would be safest there.” He flinches at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t hear the chairs inch closer, but suddenly they were there. “Anakin-” His breathing hitches and he chokes on a sob. “I watched him.” He chokes out through the tears. “I saw him strike them down!” His voice rises, but the tears don’t stop. “They were children!” Louder sobs accompany the careful searching of his shields. They were still durasteel tight, and for that he was grateful. 

“What did I do wrong?” His voice is soft, with sorrow and pain lacing the words. 

“Nothing.” Beru’s voice wobbles as she speaks. Ben lifts his eyes to hers and is met with a wet face. “You did nothing wrong.” He tries to believe her.

“It’s my fault. I was his Master. Everything he did-”

“Was not because of you.” Owen’s voice is slightly less wobbly but Ben sees tears in his eyes. “Think about it.” Ben doesn’t want to. He would rather not think about his shortcomings with the man he called a brother. “The Emperor is at fault.” It doesn’t do much to stop the guilt, but it helps a little. 

Arms fold around him, and he melts into the hold.

“I know you don’t believe us, not now,” Beru says softly, her words pushing against his hair. “We’re going to help you, Ben.” A pause and part of Ben knows that the couple is locking eyes with each other. “You’re not alone. Stick with us.”

“Healing takes time.” Owen’s voice this time. “But we’ve got all the time in the world.” 

Ben melts further into their arms, and for the first time since he landed on Tatooine (though if he really thought about it, it could be longer) he felt a piece of his heart slowly be stitched back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I have a tumblr!!! My main primary blog is dropyoursocksgrabyourcrocs and my secondary blog is meantforinfinitesadness so if you wanna chat, come say hi!


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer and I have a reason for that!!! For some odd reason (my parents are crazy) my parents have decided that amidst the chaos of COVID-19 we need to go out of state for a week. So, I am leaving on Monday to go to another state to stay in a little town with no service and no wifi. This means no updates. This means boredom. I'm sorry. I will be gone for 5 days and hopefully will have come up with some ideas on more chapters.
> 
> That being said, I have been so happy to read your reviews and to see that people have given this crazy little thing Kudos. It is (as stated multiple times) my first Star Wars fic so I'm absolutely blessed with having such wonderful readers. You're all very kind and every email I get that says someone left a kudos or someone commented leaves a warm feeling in my heart so thank you very much.
> 
> Please stay safe during this treacherous times. My thoughts go out to all and so do my prayers (yeah I know...thoughts and prayers don't do much though i believe slightly differently on the prayers hahaha) and if you're ever in need of someone to talk to, i have 2 Tumblr accounts that were listed on the last chapter so please feel free to reach out, even if it's just to say hi.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much and I appreciate you all.
> 
> NOW ON TO THE STORY!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

“I’ll be fine watching him.” Ben’s ears prick up at the sound of Owen’s voice. He’d only been dozing, but he’d effectively blocked all noises out.

“You’ve been watching him for the past few days.” Beru’s voice replies. Ben sits up slowly, hoping the couch won’t creak as he strains to listen to the two. 

“And I’ll be fine watching him again,” Owen argues.

“People have been wondering about you.” Beru shoots back. 

Ben blinks, thinking hard about what the two are talking about. He shakes his head and stands before following the voices into the kitchen. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks, watching the two jump slightly. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He tells them with a small smile gracing his tired features. Beru smiles back at him and waves her hand.

“It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Owen just won’t listen to me.” Beru says and turns a stern face to her husband. Ben’s raised eyebrow goes unnoticed. 

“You like going out. It’ll be fine.” Beru sighs at her husband’s attempt to argue and looks at Ben. 

“We’re running low on a few things so we need to go to Mos Eisley to get them. However, Owen won’t let me watch Luke while he gets the supplies.” She informs him.

“Oh?” Ben asks, though his question is lost in the intense staredown going on between the two. He smiles a bit wider as he looks between them. “And I’m guessing that Owen is perfectly alright with staying home?” The two nod, still not looking at the Jedi. “Even though you’ve gone the past few times and Owen’s always watching Luke?” Another nod. Ben hums as he thinks about it. He tries to pretend to spend a long time thinking about their options, but he already has one in mind. “What about a third option?” The two swing their heads to him with surprise on their faces.

“You don’t mean-”

“Are you sure you’d-” They’re speaking over each other and Ben nods. He’s surprised to find himself bouncing a little on his feet as he thinks about the prospect.

“If you would trust me with the boy for the time you’re gone, I would love to watch him.” He says this to both of them, but his eyes meet Owen’s. Ben can feel the slight guilt flow off the man, but he keeps his smile. “I know you don’t want me near him.” Owen flinches a little at the soft, sad sound of Ben’s voice. “I also know that spending time with those you love is very important.” A lump grows in his throat that he pushes back harshly. He won’t cry. Not right now.

Maybe later.

“If you’re sure you want to stay with him, then I see no reason why not,” Beru speaks up, a wide smile on her face and Ben watches Owen glance at her. Ben knows that the man can see the excitement in the woman’s eyes. They probably haven’t really had much time to themselves since Luke arrived.

That causes a pang of guilt to soar through Ben. 

“Of course. I promise to look after him.” 

Beru prattles off things he’ll need to do for the child as she rushes off to get the list of things they’ll need and the list of things Ben will need to know. 

“I’m sorry.” The apology from Owen causes Ben’s brain to screech to a halt. 

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Ben asks with a fair amount of confusion. 

Owen’s face takes on a look of bewilderment before opening his mouth to speak.

“Here’s everything you need to know Ben!” Beru’s excited voice stalls her husband. She thrusts the list at Ben before grabbing her husband’s hand. “You’ll be fine and we won’t be gone too long.” Those are her parting words before the two leave. 

Ben looks around the home, unsure of what to do with himself. The list doesn’t have anything he needs to do that would involve the home. It’s just for Luke. It tells him when to feed the child, what he likes to eat, what to do in certain situations. 

Ben’s heart hurts for a moment, but he’s surprised to find that it’s not because of sadness. He’s genuinely happy for the boy and the Lars’. Maybe he made the right choice. Maybe he really has brought someone happiness. 

Maybe he’s actually done some good.

Luke’s crying breaks Ben out of his thoughts and he all but runs to the boy. The child is red-faced with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“It’s alright,” Ben whispers as he lifts the boy out of the little crib Owen and Beru have set up for him. He changes the boy’s diaper before checking the list. He finds that it’s not near the time when Beru would normally feed him, so Ben holds the boy close to his heart and walks about the house. “There’s nothing to worry about.” Luke’s crying has quieted a little, but there are tears still falling from his cheeks. 

Ben finds himself back in the front room. He sits on the couch and brings the boy further up. Luke whimpers and rubs a wet face against Ben’s tunic. The man just chuckles and rubs Luke’s back. 

His bag is still sitting by the couch and feels a whisper dance across his mind telling him to look inside. 

Ben blinks a few times before looking at Luke who’s gazing right back at him. 

“Any idea why I should look in the bag?” Ben’s question garners only a tired blink and shaky exhale from Luke. Ben hums and nods, as though contemplating some great knowledge. “Yes, I thought so too. Do you think I should look in it?” Luke gnaws on his fist and Ben nods. “You’re absolutely right.” He tells the boy, shifting on the couch so he’s able to reach into the bag. “A prompting from the force should never be ignored.” He rummages through the bag, items clinking every so often. Ben chuckles. “I sound like my Master.” He mumbles, pausing as he takes in the realization. 

Luke gurgles past his hand and Ben makes an indignant noise.

“I’m not old.” He scolds the baby before his hand clasps an object in his bag. Something flies through his mind and he lets out a sad laugh. “I don’t even remember putting this in here.” He tells the baby. Luke’s eyes have finally dried and he looks up at Ben with clear eyes. “We’ve got to move for a bit, so I apologize.” The baby pays his words no mind as he keeps staring at the man holding him.

Ben places the object on the small table resting close to the couch. He presses a few buttons, double-checking that he’s got his settings where he wants them, then turns the object on.

Stars shine in Luke’s eyes as he gazes around in wonder. Ben’s smile is soft as he too looks around. He lifts a hand and makes sure Luke is watching.

“We’re here.” He points to the orb, once again longing for things of the past. “This planet is called Tatooine.” He informs Luke who now has one hand in his mouth and the other grasping for planets and stars. “You’re father was born here.” Ben’s heart stops and his mouth dries. “He was a good man. More than that, he was my brother.” Ben’s voice has dropped to a hush, but Luke doesn’t seem to pay any mind to the sad man’s thoughts.

“You would have liked him, I think.” Ben sighs and lowers his gaze. “He would have loved you. He would have done anything for you.” He pauses, a shaky breath leaving his mouth. “He  _ did  _ do anything for you.” Ben shakes himself out of his misery at the sound of a soft gurgle leaving Luke’s mouth. Ben can feel the drool dripping onto his hand that grips the child.

“So, pick a planet.” He stands and lifts the boy higher, allowing him to reach for any planet as they fly by. The tiny hand touches one and Ben smiles. “Ryloth, huh?” He sits back down and cradles the boy close. “I’ve got a story for that one. It was during the war, by the way. The planet was…” The process continues, one after another as Ben’s voice grows softer and softer the more he talks. Planet after planet, story after story, until finally, his voice gives out and sleep calls him. 

He doesn’t remember drifting to sleep. He remembers laying down to tell another story with the weight of Luke pressed gently against him.

The holo remains on with a planet highlighted as they both drift to sleep.

Beru desperately wishes for a holo of that moment. 

Owen is happy to oblige.


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to bust out another chapter before I leave for the worst vacation of my life. Um, it was written late at night and I'm kind of happy with it kind of not. There was a lot more I think I could have done with it and I didn't think it would end up the way it did so yeah.
> 
> Again, I will be gone this whole week. I'm going to be in a place with no cell service or internet so I won't be able to post any new chapters this week so I'm very sad about that. I'll try to think up new chapters while I'm there and maybe get them jotted down. So, you won't be hearing from me until Saturday night possibly even just next week! 
> 
> Anywho, see y'all soon and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

One would think that with the months that passed, the topic of the fall of the Republic and the utter decimation of the Jedi would be put to rest. Unfortunately, not everyone was like Ben in that thought or hope.

No, it seemed as though the fall of the Republic and the Jedi were still at the forefront of everyone’s minds. 

It made going out difficult for the Jedi.

Owen didn’t understand why Ben had tried so very hard to get Owen to leave him be. 

“I would just rather stay here with Luke.” That’s what he told Owen, but Owen was hearing none of it.

“You’ve gotta get out sometime, Ben.” Owen’s voice leaves no room for argument.

Reluctantly, Ben had allowed himself to be forced out of the dwelling, into a speeder and onwards to Mos Eisley. Specifically, the Cantina that resided there.

Of course, that’s where a lot of the gossip started. That was somewhere Ben tried to avoid. 

“It’s still a shame, don’t you think?” The question catches Ben’s ears, and he tries desperately to let the question glide past him. With fingers tight on the glass holding the drink Owen bought him, he tried to force his mind away from whatever conversation was going on next to him. Nothing could sway his mind. 

“What?” A voice, gruffer than the first questioned back.

“That business with the Jedi.” 

Ben’s heart stops and he pleads with himself to pass the conversation by. It’s to no avail as his heart pounds in his ears. The second man snorts and Ben can see him take a sip of whatever concoction he has in his hand.

“They were traitors. They deserved what they got.” 

The ringing in Ben’s ears does nothing to drown out the conversation. 

“You really think that? Even with this Empire? You don’t think for one second that they were set up?” Ben really wants to know the rest of this man’s thoughts on the subject (he has a softer, kinder voice and Ben thinks that maybe that’s why he wants to hear more), but the second man laughs at the question.

“How would they have been set up? They’re men shot at them. The Emperor declared them traitors!” His voice is rising, and Ben’s heartbeat rises with it. 

“Think what you will, but I saw them in action. I met one!” The second man scoffs, but this first man doesn’t stop his defense on the Jedi. “I met this one Jedi on my home planet. You see those holos of their light swords swinging around, but it’s nothing like seeing it in person. This guy, his was moving faster than anything I had ever seen. He deflected blaster bolt after blaster bolt. You know why? He was defending the people. There was a group of us huddled together. I thought we were all gonna die, then this Jedi comes barreling in. He blocked every single blast right back at the Seppies.” The man pauses and so does Ben’s heart. “When it was done, he turned around to look at us. He had this soft smile that deflected from the fact that he was obviously exhausted. He looked at us with that smile and asked each and every one of us if we were alright. He helped us find our families, and he did what he had to do to make sure we were safe.”

“I’ll never forget his face. His hair wasn’t really red, but it wasn’t not red, y’know? And his eyes,” a whistle breaks apart the sentence, and Ben’s face heats up. “They were the most fascinating color. I couldn’t tell if they were blue or green, but they changed every time I looked at them. The clone that came to help the Jedi called him General Kenobi. I’ll never forget him.”

“Ben?” Ben jolts at the sound of Owen’s voice. He turns to face the man and gives him a tremulous smile. Owen’s face is full of concern.

“I heard what they were talking about.” 

“It’s strange to think that it’s still something that’s talked about.” Ben’s voice is soft and his mind is far away. His body betrays him once more as a hand rests on his shoulder. It’s not Owen’s hand. Ben turns his head around to follow that arm up to the face that gazes at him. 

“You’re him.” The man’s face is pale as he takes in Ben. Ben swallows and gives him a faint nod. The man shifts in his spot and gives him a soft smile. “Thank you.” The silence that passes between them isn’t awkward, and Ben’s thankful for that. “I’m so sorry about all that’s happened. Your people didn’t deserve that.” Ben lets out a shaky breath and smiles. He can’t trust himself to do anything more than that, and it seems the man understands. “I’m also sorry about my friend, but you should know that a lot of people feel for you. You’re not alone. I hope you know that.”

Tears spill from Ben’s eyes and the man gathers him in a quick hug, and just like that, another piece of Ben’s heart is stitched back together.


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got home from my annoying little trip last night and as soon as I was able, I wrote 2 chapters so you will be getting a double update today when I am able to post the next chapter! My dear grandmother let us use her phones hotspot so if you got replies from me on comments, that's how I was able to do it. Now, on to the angst!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

“What do you think happened to it?” Ben blinks at the sudden question that escapes Beru’s mouth. For a moment, the only sound in the small kitchen is the woman cutting up vegetables for their dinner. Ben sits calmly at the table with Luke resting in his arms.

It had been a little over a week since the day Beru forced her way into Ben’s small dwelling. Ben thought he would be used to the odd questions the couple would ask him every so often. 

He wasn’t.

He rolled the question around in his mind as he gauged the woman. The Force swirled around him, but she bore no ill will. Ben shifts in his seat, cooing to Luke as the boy whimpers in his sleep.

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.” Ben replies and Beru pauses in her cutting. Ben finally looks up at her. He can see the sorrow in her eyes.

That’s another thing he thought he would have gotten used to seeing. When Owen and Beru looked at him, their eyes were usually filled with sorrow and pity. Owen’s was mostly filled with guilt when he looked at the Jedi, but Ben always tried to quell that guilt.

“The Temple,” Beru says with a soft voice. Ben’s blood freezes as the response echoes in his mind.

The Jedi Temple. She wants to know what happened to it. What happened to his home that became a place that haunted his dreams. A home that filled with the blood of innocents.

“I don’t know.” He whispers. It’s the truth, and he really wished he had known.

“What do you think happened to it? What would you have wished to happen to it?” Ben lets Beru’s questions roll around in his mind once more before closing his eyes. 

“In a perfect world, I would have wanted nothing to happen to it. I would have wanted it to remain as it was before the slaughter of my people.” He hears her breathing hitch, but he makes no apology for the way he phrases the statement. “I know that we don’t live in a perfect world or galaxy. I know that the Temple has not remained untouched. I would think that the Emperor has either burned it to the ground or let it sit there with blood staining the floors until it rots away into nothing.”

“I think he would let it stay there, to serve as a reminder that we were traitors to the Republic. He could tarnish our name and break down walls, leaving it unrecognizable. He would let the people of Coruscant destroy it themselves. We caused them heartbreak and pain, why shouldn’t they repay us in kind?”

“Do you really believe all that?” Beru’s voice is soft and closer now. Ben opens his eyes and gazes at her. A sad smile graces his features.

“I know we did not betray the Republic. Why would we go out and fight the war ourselves only to betray those we fought for? Why would we send our young ones out to lose their lives?” Ben shakes his head. “We did not betray the Republic. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why our men turned against us. I can only hope one day I’ll find out.” He draws in a shaky breath. “We should never have been fighting that war in the first place. We were peacekeepers. We were meant to be on planets negotiating peace and helping anyone we could. We weren’t supposed to be General and Commanders in charge of an Army.” 

“I think we lost our way a long time ago though.” Ben knows that the words would have garnered him stern looks and harsh words from his fellow Jedi if they were here. “My Master would be heartbroken over the state of the Jedi if he could see it now.” Ben feels an odd warmth on his shoulder, shivering at the touch. He looks at the spot but sees nothing. He shakes himself and focuses back on the subject at hand. “You know, I don’t understand how we didn’t feel the presence of the Sith Lord on Coruscant so close to the Temple.”

“You’ve said it yourself,” Beru starts, “He was very powerful. Don’t you think he could have . . .” She pauses and Ben can see the cogs turning in her head as she thinks of the word she’s supposed to use. Her thinking face is very obvious and Ben watches the process. Her forehead creases in thought before her teeth snag her bottom lip, and finally, her hand comes up to her chin as her finger taps on it softly. Once she has the answer or solution to a thought, her face softens and she snaps her fingers. “Shielding. That’s the word. Don’t you think he could have been shielding himself really well?” 

Ben nods his head, his smile growing softer and more genuine.

“The thought crossed my mind, and I’m sure that played a part in it. I know there had to have been something else. There must have been something or someone on Coruscant that was blocking his signature in the Force as well.” As Ben speaks, he feels Owen’s signature flare-up. Ben straightens up more, passing Luke to Beru as he rushes up from his seat.

“What’s wrong?” Beru questions from behind, following closely as Ben rushes to the door. 

“Owen’s worried.” The fear that flared in his mind was harsh and almost blinding, but Ben took it in, then breathed it out. “He’s scared.”

Owen burst into the home with a red face and sweat dripping down past wide eyes. Ben’s hands flutter around the man as he draws him closer into the home. Beru’s already there with water as Owen collapses onto the couch that Ben uses as a bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Beru asks, rocking Luke carefully. The boy had woken up at the commotion but was quickly working his way back to sleep.

Owen takes long sips from the glass in his hand before his flicker back and forth between his wife and house guest. He digs inside his pocket before bringing his hand out. Ben’s breathing stops as he stares at the holo. 

A clone trooper stares right back at him.


	8. 8

“They’re called Stormtroopers,” Owen tells them.

Ben’s world had fallen out from under his feet once more. The flickering form of the cl-

They weren’t clone troopers. Not anymore. He couldn’t call them that. In fact, the longer that Ben stared at the image, the more he realized something sad.

The armor was blank. There were no markings on them. Their individuality was gone. 

“They’re being sent here within the week on order of the Empire,” Owen informs the two. Ben can feel the stares of the couple on him and he finally looks up. 

“What do we know about them?” His voice cracks but he pays no mind to it. He’s not hiding how he feels about this.

These were his men. They were his friends. They were-

“The one’s the Empire has right now are all the original clones from the GAR.” Owen supplies and Ben feels his heart stutter. His knees buckle and he falls to the ground. 

The realization that he could possibly know some of the men coming to Tatooine-

“Ben?” Beru’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts and he looks at her. He swallows thickly, knowing he would have to share his thoughts with them.

“I’m just thinking that there’s a possibility some of the men coming here could have been part of my battalion.” He watches them both flinch at the idea. 

“You’re not leaving this place.” The sudden demand from Owen startles Ben as he focuses solely on the other man. “They could recognize you. What happens if they do?” Ben’s not as surprised at the growl in Owen’s voice as he would have been a week or two ago. 

“Then they recognize me.” He whispers out. “Owen, you can’t keep me in here. You know you can’t.” Ben’s tongue flicks out onto his lips. “I’m going to have to go back to my home.” He meets both of their gazes unflinchingly. Ben can see the argument they both want to start in their minds, and he stops them before they can utter a sound. “It’s too dangerous for me to stay here. I won’t let them harm you or Luke because they recognized me.” Ben rises shakily to his feet and grabs the small bag that he had brought with him. 

He tosses his meager possessions into the bag without care for where or how they land.

“I appreciate all you’ve done for me, I truly do.” His apology is sincere, but Beru and Owen won’t have it.

“You’re not leaving.” It’s a harsh demand that has Ben stopped in his tracks. His fingers twitched above the projector he showed Luke a few days ago. “I don’t care what you think. You’re not going out there by yourself. You’ll be safer here. We can hide you!”

“Then what?!” Ben surprises himself with the raw power in his voice. “They find out you’re hiding an enemy of the Empire in your home! What will they do?” His chest heaves with the force of his words and he watches them think. “They will kill you before either killing me or taking me straight to the Emperor.” Oh, how the thought aches in his heart. “I won’t let them kill you.” It’s a promise that causes his voice to go softer. 

Ben should have known by now that Beru and Own Lars were not ones that backed down from helping someone.

That’s how Ben found himself still in their home a week later.

That’s how everything started to slowly get better and worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be bringing in some very familiar faces in the next coming chapters. I hope you're alright with what I have planned out, if not, you know you can exit this ride at any time. 
> 
> (plan for characters include but are not yet limited or set in stone as Bail Organa, Ahsoka Tano, Commander Cody, Captain Rex, maybe some other Jedi)
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Welcome. I hope you're enjoying your stay. This is where the "things start to get better" part of the story begins but it's quickly going to fall into a "things start to get worse" feel. Then it'll bounce around I think. I don't know. I don't plan anything out. Things just happen.
> 
> Also! There will be italics written stuff in this chapter!!! Yes, it is a word for word quoting from Labyrinth of Evil by James Luceno and yes, it is the part you're probably thinking of. Ok! Enjoy the chapter and thank you so much for taking the time to read it!!!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

Life at the home of Beru and Owen Lars continued as if the news of Stormtroopers being sent to Tatooine was small business, and not like it could be the end of the couple’s lives and the end of Ben’s sudden burst of safety. 

Ben kept about his ways. He helped Owen with the Vaporator’s and watched Luke when he was needed. He helped Beru with the food and kept building Luke’s shields when he could.

It was an odd change the routine he had kept at his own dwelling, but one thing that didn’t change for Ben was his desire to contact his former Master. 

No, Ben hadn’t finally cracked. Master Yoda had taught him what he needed to do, and Ben had eagerly begun listening to the old Master. The thought of being able to contact his former Master had Ben’s insides twisted up in knots. Though, he did feel excitement as well as dread. He couldn’t help but think what Qui-Gon would say to him. What would he think of all that had happened? Did he even know what had been going on?

He didn’t know if he wanted the answer to any of those questions, but he pressed on. Every night, before he went to bed, Ben knelt down next to the couch. With his legs tucked up underneath him, he rested his hands lightly on his thighs and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply, pulling the Force to him and wrapping himself in its warmth.

And every night, without fail, he would call for his Master, and nothing would happen.

He knew better than to be frustrated with the results (or rather lack of results) as he recalled Master Yoda telling him that it was not an easy feat and that practice would be important. 

Ben was a patient man. He had to be; He raised Anakin, didn’t he? The question draws a laugh out of him before he swallows down tears that still rose at the thought of his former Padawan and brother.

He had yet to tell Owen and Beru everything that had transpired on Mustafar that dreaded day. He had told them enough. They knew that Anakin was the Sith known as Darth Vader, but they hadn’t quite known how it had happened. Ben didn’t want to think about what Owen would so to him when he found out. They were step-brothers. They were family. What would Owen think when Ben told him what he did?

“He would throw me out for sure.” Ben chuckles to himself in that sad way that he did. He had chuckled it to himself in the midst of his nightly meditation.

He wasn’t expecting a response to the statement, so when he received one, he nearly cried out in slight fear (though he would never admit it was fear for he knew fear was the path to the dark side).

“I don’t think he would through you out Padawan.” The deep voice clouded his mind and Ben forced his eyes open. His ever-changing eyes filled with tears as he looked up at the softly glowing blue figure of his former Master. 

“Qui-Gon.” The name that barely touched his lips was breathed out in a shaky whisper. Ben lifts a hand to his mouth, covering it in the hopes that his soft cries wouldn’t be heard by the other occupants of the home. Qui-Gon Jinn gave his former Padawan a sad smile.

“Oh little one, the years have not been kind to you, have they?” The voice that he hadn’t heard in so long calmed his senses. 

Ben thought about that voice nearly every night after his Master had returned to the Force.

That voice had been the source of his comfort. His Master’s voice would be what chased away the after images of nightmares and visions he had suffered. It was there to offer stern warnings and praises. It soothed the tears of his soul and body. 

“Is it that obvious?” Ben asks, letting out a watery laugh to accompany the question. Ben’s eyes are wrenched closed as tears fall down his cheeks. A warmth on one of his cheeks prompts the copper-haired man to open his eyes. Qui-Gon is kneeling right in front of him with a hand resting against Ben’s cheek. Ben leans into it, a reflex buried deep in his subconscious suddenly bursting forth once more.

“You have been through much.” Ben almost laughs at the statement from his former Master. “I’m only sorry I could not have been there for you.” Qui-Gon sighs and Ben watches as his eyes close. “Infinite sadness indeed little one.” 

Ben’s breathing hitches.

“How did you-” The conversation that had passed between Ben and Anakin long ago flew into his mind once more.

_ “You would forgo your destiny for Padme?” Obi-Wan watched Anakin’s brows as they beetled in anger. _

_ “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” _

_ “Because I think you believe it,” Obi-Wan said calmly. “I think you know in your heart that you’re meant for something extraordinary.” _

_ “And you, Master? What does your heart tell you you’re meant for?” _

_ “Infinite sadness,” Obi-Wan said, even while smiling. _

“I may not have been there in body, Obi-Wan,” The man flinched at the sound of his own name. “But I was always there in spirit.” 

Ben blinked rapidly as he tried to quell the tears. He sniffled lightly and pressed himself closer to the warmth of Qui-Gon.

“May I ask you a question?” Ben asks. Qui-Gon snorts and the faint brush of his robes caress Ben’s face.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” 

Yes, Ben does know this, but asking first was ingrained in him at a young age. Seeing his former Master again has brought back things he thought were long buried.

“Why did you do it?” Ben pauses before continuing. “Why did you ask that I take Anakin as my Padawan? I wasn’t ready. I had just lost you, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I fought against Master Yoda’s wishes. I fought for the child. Why did you make me promise you?” The tears fall faster now, but Ben doesn’t find himself caring as the droplets fall to the floor beneath him.

“Oh, my dear one.” Qui-Gon begins, brushing a hand through Ben’s hair. “I’m sorry for what I demanded of you. I never thought it would end up as it did. I only knew you were what was best for him. You had become a far greater Jedi than I had ever hoped to be, and I knew you would be able to teach him.” Ben shudders against the ghostly figure as a hand tightens on his neck in comfort. “I never told you how proud I was of you. That is what I regret the most. My final words should not have been what they were. You were my Padawan and I pushed you aside without a thought.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry for the pain and sadness this has caused you.” A hand under Ben’s bearded chin lifts his head. Qui-Gon’s eyes meet his own watery ones. “Know this, little one,” Qui-Gon bends down and the ghostly feel of lips brush against his hair, then move to his forehead. “You are not alone. Not anymore.”

His life would only get harder. Ben knew this for a fact. The soft promise brushed against his forehead rang true though. He was not alone. He would never be alone again.

His exhausted body tumbled into sleep with the warm body of his Master around him and that promise in his mind. It was the most restful sleep he’d had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you read this note hahaha (jk you don't have to but it'll kind of help??? maybe??? with future stuff? idk). So, I'm currently working on another installment for this series and that will probably take up most of my time. However, I will try to do my best and write more chapters for this whilst also working on the installment that kind of goes with this chapter.
> 
> To kind of give you an idea of what that's going to be like, let me tell you hahaha. It's going to be in Force Ghost Qui-Gon's POV (pray for me) and it's going to tie in with the whole Obi-Wan never being alone so you know what that means....right? (I'll give you a hint. Zigoola, Rattatak, Kadavo all that good stuff) I'm hoping it'll be a good chunk of writing. Though, I don't get all the credit for this coming into my mind. I'm actually giving it to winter_sunshine who commented about what if Obi-Wan found out that Qui-Gon never left his side so....yeah
> 
> Anyway, Thanks for read and commenting!!! Seriously you have no idea how happy I get when I see comments and Kudos on this thing!!! You all make my day and I'm so happy you're all enjoying it!!!!!


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HNNNN THIS WAS RUSHED BUT I GOT STUCK ON MY QUI-GON POV FIC SO TAKE THIS
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

Healing was a process. This was something that had been drilled into Ben’s head since Beru and Owen first implored him to share his nightmares with them. That’s why he was sitting on the couch, his clothes and hair in disarray from his nightmare.

The couple had heard him calling out and had struggled to wake him up. He had apologized profusely once he was awake enough to distinguish dream from reality. 

“Don’t apologize,” Beru told him softly. Her eyes were heavy and he felt terrible that he had woken her up. Owen’s footsteps filled the air as he entered the room. He too looked disheveled, though not as bad as Ben. He sits down next to his wife and rests a hand on her knee. Ben tears his eyes away and casts his gaze to his own knees where his hands are clasped tightly together.

“We would have been up soon anyway.” The fact (and it was a fact, this Ben knew) was soft and was meant to ease Ben’s guilt. However, it didn’t accomplish that goal. “What was it this time?” 

Ben nibbles on his bottom lip and keeps his eyes down. Just a few nights ago, he had been visited by his former Master, and it had been the best sleep he had ever had. He wished fiercely for that again. 

A warmth sat across his upper back and he eased into it. Though he couldn’t see his Master, he knew he was there.

“Ben?” Owen questions after the man and Ben curls further into himself. This was the nightmare he didn’t want to tell them about. This was the memory of what he did to Anakin. He was Owen’s brother.

_ He’ll throw me out.  _ The thought comes harshly against Ben’s mind and he knows it’s true.  _ It has to be. I did that to his brother. _

_ He was your brother too.  _ Ben flinches at the sound of his former Master’s voice.  _ Breathe little one. All will be as the Force wills it.  _ Ben takes a shuddering breath and begins.

“What do you know about Darth Vader?” The question is for the couple sitting across from the Jedi, but Ben’s stormy eyes are focused on his knees. He hears some shuffling before Owen clears his throat.

“Well, we know he’s Anakin.” Ben’s eyes squeeze shut as he flinches again and really,  _ I’ve got so stop doing that.  _ “Or, I guess he’s what’s left of Anakin.” The last sentence is a mumble and Ben finally looks up. 

“Do you know how it happened?” Ben asks. Owen and Beru look at him with tired but aware eyes. Beru shakes her head.

“No.” She replies. Her hand squeezes her husband’s knee and Ben nods. 

“It was my fault.” The two start to protest, ready as ever to fight the thought that haunts Ben’s mind. Ben lifts a hand and the two quiet down. “He was corrupted by the Emporer. After I saw what had happened in the Temple,” His voice chokes as he recalls the security footage. “I was assigned the task to go after him. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do what was asked of me. They wanted me to kill him.” Ben shakes his head vehemently with eyes wrenched closed. “Master Yoda gave me the task though, so I went. He was on Mustafar.” Ben swallows thickly before opening his eyes and catching Beru and Owen’s gaze.

“I hitched a ride on Senator Amidala’s ship. She didn’t know I was there. Anakin nearly killed his wife on that planet. Anakin’s fears of his wife dying in childbirth had nearly come to pass right then.” He pauses, gathering his thoughts and trying to put them together. It was hard. So much had happened that night. “We fought. We’d done it before, but never with the intent to kill one another.” Ben’s surprised at the calm feeling rushing through his body. He feels no tears track down his face.

“I couldn’t kill him. I didn’t want to.” He repeats the words. They rang in his head constantly. It was the first time he said them out loud in front of other people. “He was like my brother. I loved him.” Ben locks eyes with Owen. “He leaped at me, but I did what I had to do. I thought he had died there. I watched him burn as he clung to the rock and ash with his remaining hand.  _ I thought he was dead. _ ” Tears finally leave his eyes. “I can still hear his cries.”

_ “I HATE YOU!”  _

Ben shivers as the words ring out, and he can see Owen and Beru flinch. He had been broadcasting the thought, though he hadn’t meant to. 

“Palpatine must have found him and saved him.” A shudder rips through his body. “The hate and anger were so strong. It came off him in waves. I thought I could help him.  _ I didn’t want to kill him. I didn’t want to hurt him. _ ” A sob escapes. “I’m sorry. He was your brother.”

_ “You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!” _

Ben doesn’t need to see the flinches from Beru and Owen. He meant to broadcast this time. 

The couch sinks down and hands rest against his body. He leans into them.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” The truth in Owen’s voice hurts, but Ben looks at the man. “I never really knew Anakin. I met him once maybe twice. You lost a brother, maybe even a son,” A son? Yes, maybe that was true. “Truthfully, I think a lot of what you felt started here. I don’t mean when he was a slave, either.” Ben makes a questioning hum as his brow furls.

“What do you mean?” He asks and Owen shifts, casting a glance at his wife. “Owen?”

“He never told you?” Beru asks, rubbing a hand up and down his back. 

“Told me what?” Ben questions. Owen sighs and his shoulders droop from an invisible weight. His eyes are closed and Ben waits as patiently as he can for an answer.

“We met Anakin years ago. He had brought his wife with him.” Owen shakes his head. “I could tell she deserved better.” Owen clears his throat and opens his eyes. The sadness and sorrow in his eyes wash over Ben and he tries to push the feeling into the Force. “His mother married my father. There was an attack. The Tusken’s took her.” Ben gasps and leans into the hands on his back. “Anakin was furious. He left Padme with us and rushed off to find his mother. He came back with her wrapped in blankets and anything he could find. She had suffered at the hands of the Tusken’s. We overheard Anakin talking to Padme.” Beru snorts at the statement.

“It was more like yelling, though not as loud. We could hear him through the walls.” Beru adds, still rubbing Ben’s back softly. 

“I’m sorry,” Owen whispers and meets Ben’s eyes once again. “He killed all of them. The men, women, and even the children.” 

A feeling of cold rushes through Ben’s body and his ears ring.

_ He had killed before, in cold blood. He had killed children before. _

“I’m sorry.”

Ben thought his heart couldn’t break anymore, but it did.


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh....this was not how i had forseen this chapter going. so. yeah.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

2 weeks had passed with Ben living with the Lars’. It had only been about 3 months since he had first arrived on Tatooine as well, which meant Luke was 3 months. 

Ben watches the boy as he lays on the ground, gnawing on his fist. He had grown so much already, and not just physically.

_ He’s growing stronger in the Force as well.  _ He sighs at the thought and rests his cheek on his fist.  _ I had hoped he wouldn’t take after his father. _ Ben shakes his head and sits up. 

“Ben?” The voice reminds him that he wasn’t alone in watching the boy. Ben blinks and turns his attention to Owen.

“Yes?” Ben asks. Owen fidgets in the chair he’s sitting on and Ben can’t help but want to do the same. 

“I never got to apologize.” Surprise takes over curiosity at the apology from Owen and Ben rears back. 

“You don’t-” Ben starts, but Owen cuts him off quickly.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did. I shouldn’t have kept you from seeing Luke.”  _ Jedi only make things worse.  _ The thought flows through his mind in the voice of an enslaved Togruta and Owen Lars. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize how badly you were affected by everything.” Owen shrugs and slumps. “I guess I thought Jedi didn’t feel.” Ben smiles a little and chuckles when Owen raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re not the first to think that, y’know?” Ben sighs before pushing himself off the couch before walking a few paces to Owen. He sits in the empty chair next to him. “I understood where you were coming from. Things were happening and it didn’t help that a Jedi arrived at your doorstep to give you a baby. I wasn’t really thinking either. All that I thought was that you were his only family left and that I certainly couldn’t take care of a baby.” He smiles lightly at Owen who gives him a laugh back.

“You can’t even take care of yourself, Ben.” Owen states. Ben huffs and playfully rolls his eyes. “You’re not denying it.”

A wave of worry and terror washes over Ben and he rushes to his feet. Owen follows just as quickly, not asking what was wrong. 

Beru bursts through the entryway of the home. She looked scattered and disheveled. 

“Stormtroopers.” She gasps out through heaving breaths. Ben flinches but grabs the bags of groceries from her hands as Owen leads his wife to sit. Ben rests the bags down and quickly returns to the family. “They’re coming.” 

Ben’s hands shake and he struggles to release his fear into the Force. 

“How do you know?” Owen asks her, gently rubbing her back and holding her hand. 

“They’re taking a census. They’re going to every house and getting a count of those living there.” That wasn’t so bad, right? “They’re also asking questions.” Beru looks up at Ben and his heart falls. “They’re asking about Jedi.” 

Ben stumbles and barely catches himself. 

The loud banging on the door startles the family and even Luke starts to cry. Owen catches his eye and ushers him away. “You stay here. You stay hidden.”

Ben didn’t have time to be surprised at the concern flowing through the home. He was close enough that he could still hear what was going on.

“I’ll conceal myself. You don’t have to worry about me.” Owen raises an eyebrow at Ben’s suggestion. Ben smiles sheepishly as he recalls the last time he did that.

He had passed out.

It was rather embarrassing.

“I’ll be alright. Go.” Ben watches Owen leave before slowly going to his knees. He breathes deeply as he sinks into the Force. He thinks he can feel Qui-Gon nearby, but he doesn’t have the concentration to spare for that thought. 

“Just the three of you?” Ben almost loses the small amount of concentration he has when he hears the voice. He shifts and thinks hard about whether it would be worth it to spare a little more concentration to peer into the Troopers head just to see who it was. Warmth flowed over him and he lifted his lips in thanks as Qui-Gon does what he can to bolster Ben’s strength. 

“Just me, my wife, and nephew.” Owen’s voice calmly gives the Trooper their names as well and Ben looks into the Troopers mind. 

It takes time and there are obvious shields and traps in their mind, but he finds his answer.

“Have you seen any Jedi around these parts?” 

“I thought they all died.” Beru’s soft voice barely brushes against his thoughts. Everything after that blurs out as his breathing picks up at the identity of the Trooper.

_ No.  _ He refused to believe that the Force could be this cruel to him.  _ Cody?  _ He forcibly pulls himself out of his Commander’s mind and winces at the pain in his head that he earns from the action. 

He pushes it aside and casts his senses out. 

Cody never faltered in his questioning. That meant that he didn’t feel Ben’s prescence. He’s grateful for that knowledge.

The sound of heavy steps leaving the home shakes him out of his thoughts and meditation. He exits the welcoming hold of the Force and whimpers at the pain surrounding his mind. He feels a wetness on his upper lip and brings a shaky hand to the liquid. Blood rests on the fingers that brushed against his lip.

“Ben?” Ben raises his head and smiles at Owen and Beru. He pushes himself up off the ground. His legs give out immediately but he’s saved by arms stopping his fall. Ben groans and pushes his head into the body in front of him. 

The light hurts his head and a drumbeat of pain echoes through his mind. 

“I’ve got you.” Owen whispers, carefully pulling Ben into a standing position. He starts a slow walk and Ben’s feet drag as exhaustion weighs him down. “What happened?” 

Ben’s eyes stay wrenched closed as he breathes through the pain. He’s vaguely aware of being pushed onto a soft surface. 

“I went into his mind.” He mumbles out after he’s pushed further down until he lays flat on the surface. He places his arm over his eyes and breathes deeply, one shaky breath after another. 

“What did you find?” Beru asks and Ben feels something cold and wet brush against his upper lip.

“Their name.” His heart hurts for the Trooper that was once his friend. Silence rests over the heads of those in the room. “Cody. Commander Cody of the 212th Attack Battalion of the GAR under one General Kenobi.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, an update for you all. The next part of this series is coming along nicely! It's....it's gonna be long. I've decided against chapters because it works far better as one whole story than broken into chapters. I don't know how long it's going to be, but I do know it's going to be a fair amount so yeah.


	12. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and not all that fantastic, but I thought I should give you all a chapter as a thank you for being patient while I work on this story and the other installment of this series. By the way, I do have a one shot book just straight chillin' if y'all wanna check it out. I started it because ideas got stuck in my head and I couldn't write anything until those were put somewhere so yeah. If you want something weird and wacky, check that out.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

Waking up without a scream dying on his lips or a panic racing through his mind was an odd feeling for Ben. After the months (perhaps longer) of waking up screaming and his mind trapped in a haze of panic, he was alarmed to find that he woke up smoothly and quietly.

Another odd thing for Ben to experience was waking up in another person’s bed. He took note of the room he was in and his eyes ran from one object to another. There was a dresser sitting nicely against a wall and shoes tossed on the ground. A few baby toys lined the floor as well.

“How are you feeling?” Beru’s voice brings his eyes to the foot of the bed. The woman stands there with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. Her eyes are cautious and filled with concern. 

“This is your room.” He bypasses the question about his well-being and sits up. He was in their bed and his cheeks colored at the thought. He pushes himself up and is ready to fling himself off their bed when his head starts to pound a beat that makes his eyes clench shut and the world waver for a moment. 

“Stay still.” Beru’s soft voice commands and his body obeys. “We don’t know what you did, but it didn’t look too good.” She huffs out a small laugh that accompanies the observation. Ben wets his lips and slowly opens his eyes. He’s still on the bed, but he’s not lying down anymore. “You said you went into his mind.” Ben nods and relaxes his body. “But, you’ve done it before and it’s never made you collapse like that.” 

Ben hums and crosses his ankles before resting his hands lightly in his lap.

“His mind was shielded very strongly.” Ben supplied. “Part of the shields were familiar to me. Back during the war, I shielded Cody’s mind. It was something he wanted. He didn’t want his mind corrupted by the Sith if they ever got him. I obliged and put the thickest shields around his mind.” Ben shakes his head and sighs. “Though now I’m worried. Part of the shields were put there by me. The rest were up there later. Probably after my men shot at me. They were thick and strong and laced with darkness.” He pauses, gnawing on his bottom lip as he thinks. “He didn’t know his name. His designation was there at the front of his mind, but his name was missing.” Ben shifts and his forehead creases with thought. “The shields.” He mutters to himself.

“What about them?” Owen asks and Ben’s head rises to meet Owen’s eyes. He hadn’t noticed the man and had no idea how long he had been standing in the doorway of the room. 

“I wonder if they’re blocking his memories. Maybe they’re keeping them locked away so far under shields and traps that he’ll never have them again.” His heart aches for his Commander and friend at the idea of someone doing that to him. “There aren’t many who would do that.”

“Vader,” Owen whispers.

“Or Palpatine,” Ben adds, his mind reeling at the thought of the Sith Lord’s invading Cody’s mind. 

“You said he was your Commander, right?” Beru asks, leaning forward slightly as she watches him. Ben nods and waits for whatever else she wants to say. “Is it a coincidence that he ended up on Tatooine? That it was him and not another of clones?” Ben’s mouth dries up as the thought hits him. “There’s no way Vader knows, right?” 

He can feel the fear spilling from Owen and Beru. Ben closes his eyes and breathes the fear in and pushes it out into the Force. 

“I don’t know.” And that’s what scares him the most. He doesn’t know. He has no idea if Darth Vader knows he’s on Tatooine. What if he’s looking for him? Maybe that’s why the Empire’s already reached Tatooine.

Ben sighs shakily and tries to calm himself. 

“Ben?” Beru’s soft voice calls his name.

Ben breathes out a shaky laugh.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I thank all of you for your love and support while i write this menace. I love reading your comments and I think i shed a tear every time a notification is sent to me saying I've received kudos and comments. Seriously, you don't know how happy it makes me to know that you're all liking this fic so much even though there are more inaccuracies than i care to count hahaha. Again, thank you for your comments and kindness and I can't wait to see you in the next chapters!


	13. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah another chapter! yay! Party!!!!!
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

“Ben!” The cry that ripped through the Lars’ home came from Beru. It jolted Ben out of his meditation and his eyes shot open. He rose from the floor before the bits of clothing that had floated around him had even fallen to the ground. He rushed into the main room and saw Beru with Luke in her arms. She was rocking the boy as her eyes were wide with worry.

“What’s wrong?” He took a few steps close to her, trying to figure out what was on her mind. 

“Sandstorm.” She says. Ben nodded, not saying anything while Beru gathered her thoughts. She took a deep breath in and released it. “There’s a sandstorm coming and Owen’s not back yet.” Ben whipped his head around the room at her statement, casting out with the Force but coming up with the same conclusion. “I don’t know where he’s at.” 

Ben placed his hands on her shoulders to ground her.

“I’ll go find him.” He says.

Beru shook her head. “You can’t go out there!”

Ben was already on the move. He snatched his robe from the floor and slid it on before searching his pack for the goggles he kept on hand. 

“Would you rather I leave your husband out there?” He asked, quickly pulling the goggles on over his eyes before sliding the pack on his back. “I’ll see what I can find.” Beru shifted in her spot and Ben sighed. “He’ll be alright.” Ben sent a wave of calm to her, hoping it would help her nerves. She nodded and Ben smiled softly at her. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

He was out the door in a flurry of brown. 

The wind ripped at his clothes instantly and he gritted his teeth against the sand that flew towards him. Ben closed his eyes and breathed deeply, sinking into the Force. Owen’s signature was weak and Ben knew he would have to concentrate hard to find the man. 

It would take a lot, but he was going to find him. Ben couldn’t leave Beru alone. He didn’t want her to live a life without the man she loves.

It wasn’t a fun life to live.

With closed eyes and the world around him rushing about, Ben followed the faint signature. He couldn’t see where he was going, but that didn’t worry him. He put his trust in the Force. He put his trust in his Master (Ben knew he was there, he always was) to help guide him. 

Ben didn’t feel the wind and sand battering his body. He didn’t feel it pulling at his clothes or hair. He only felt the Force and the warmth of his Master around him.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking, he didn’t even feel the exhaustion pulling at his limbs. Faintly, he could hear Cody berating him for using up energy like this. 

“Ben?” Owen’s ragged voice causes Ben to stop and dare to open his eyes. Tattooine was a mess of grainy sand and wind. He could barely see what was in front of him. He closed his eyes once more and sunk deeper into the Force. The swirling grains of sand seemed to fall away. In the middle of a bubble of calm air caused by the Force, Owen Lars sat on the ground. “What-”

“No time to talk.” Ben forced the words out of his mouth, trying not to lose concentration on the pushing of wind and sand away from the two of them. He let his focus on Owen’s signature fade away. He stumbled a little but gathered himself quickly. He pulled Owen up carefully and gripped the taller man tightly. “Beru’s worried about you.” He huffed out, pulling one of Owen’s arms over his shoulders. “You’ll have a lot of explaining to do when you get home.” His vision blurred for a moment. 

“You sure you’re alright to get us back?” Owen’s voice was hoarse and Ben was curious as to why he was all the way out here, and what had happened to the man. Ben had caught glimpses of blood and scratches lining his body, but he didn’t have the time to ask about it. 

“Yes. Are you alright to walk back?” Ben questioned back as he started the return trek to Beru and Luke. Owen grunted and stumbled, nearly pulling Ben down with him.

“Of course,” Owen assured him. Ben huffed out a laugh and pressed on. Ben knew he was using up too much energy trying to keep the sand at bay, but he also knew that if he didn’t, the sand would ravage Owen’s body. Sand in open wounds was never fun, and Ben wasn’t about to let Owen go through that. 

With eyes closed once more, Ben did what he could to get them home. He could almost see his former Master shaking his head and rolling his eyes as Ben sunk even deeper into the Force.

_ “You’ll only tire yourself out quicker, little one.”  _

Ben nodded but made no comment as he fed healing into Owen. 

He was in that limbo again where time didn’t exist. Where the wind howled and sand raged around them, but was never heard or felt against his body. Owen’s arm held no weight on his shoulders. He only saw the blinding light of Luke near the dimmer light of Beru. 

“Almost there.” He mumbled, not knowing if Owen made a response back.

After what seemed like hours, they finally arrived. 

“We’re here, Ben,” Owen whispers. Ben’s eyes snapped open and he pulled himself out of the Force, but not before he muttered a small ‘sorry’ to Owen. The sand stung their bodies and he heard Owen grunt as the grains attacked his wounds. Ben’s body ached and trembled as he pushed Owen into the home. Ben stumbled in behind him and slammed the door shut as he fell to the ground. 

His ears were ringing and he distantly heard Beru fussing over her husband. 

A warmth pressed down against Ben’s shoulder and the exhausted Jedi leaned into it. A smile gracing his features as he saw the faint smile of his Master above him.

_ “You’ve done well, little one. Rest now.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious question, would y'all like a ship for our dear Obi-Wan? Do you want that for him or would you rather he just chill? I've never really written anything like relationships and I've never been in one but I read a lot of fics and I trust my gut. So. If you would like one let me know? I'm down to figure out something. I'd be ok with Obi-Wan/Beru/Owen or Codywan or pretty much anything? I'd let you know if there was a ship that I didn't feel like writing but yeah. Please let me know!


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! Our dear Obi-Wan will not be in a relationship which is super fun! He's going to just be who he is and we'll see where that takes us! Thank you so much for your input. I truly appreciate and I think it's awesome that everyone commenting thinks the same thing on the status of him...does....does that make sense??? ANYWHO!!! FOUND FAMILY BABY!!!!
> 
> Also, 2 steps forward, 1 step back...am i right???...hah...poor Ben.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

_ "Let me in.” A whisper tickles his mind and Ben glances around the dark room. This wasn’t familiar. He didn’t know where he was. “Please.” Ben jerks at the voice again. It’s faint and so far away. “It’s so cold. Please let me in.” The voice gets louder as Ben makes his way towards it. _

_ “Who’s there?” His voice is firm but his body shakes. Is it from fear or from the cold?  _

_ “Don’t go near it.” Ben jumps and twirls around at the new voice. Qui-Gon radiates a warmth that pushes back against the cold seeping thought his bones. Ben stops and looks around. His Master’s ethereal glow gives him some hope and comfort. _

_ “What is it?” A growl rips through the darkness and Ben reels with it. His head aches and he tumbles to the ground.  _

_ “Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon’s voice breaks through the pain and Ben lifts tired eyes up. His breathing catches as he stares out into the inky darkness. Yellow humanoid eyes stare back at him. _

_ “Let me in, Master.” Obi-Wan flinches back and scrambles against the floor. “It’s so cold.” Anakin’s voice is dull, and there’s an underlying sense of hate flowing through them. “Why won’t you let me in?” _

_ “Anakin?” Obi-Wan’s voice shakes as he tries to get away from the cold.  _

_ “Don’t listen to him.” Qui-Gon’s voice is a safe rumble in his ear. A chuckle washes over the two Masters and Obi-Wan shivers at the frostiness of it. _

_ “Where are you?” The voice sings and the eyes draw nearer. “I can’t seem to find you.” There’s a tug on his mind and Obi-Wan yells at the pain.  _

_ The bond. _

_ “I’m so glad this is still here.”  _

_ Obi-Wan’s mind slows as though it’s wading through a swamp. “Stop.” He mumbles, trying to get out. “Stop this.”  _

_ “I sent Cody after you.” Anakin is closer now and Obi-Wan has to get out. “I have no idea where he went, I just knew he would find you.” Obi-Wan swallows thickly. He knows there are other ways for his former Padawan to find him, but he won’t voice them. He can’t.  _

_ Warmth rushes over him and Anakin screams. The eyes disappear and Obi-Wan can move again. _

_ “You need to leave.” Qui-Gon’s voice is strained and Obi-Wan glances up. His form is glowing brighter and his hands are pushed out in front of him.  _

_ Obi-Wan struggles to rise, but he does so.  _

_ “I’m afraid I won’t be seeing you for a while, little one.” Regret laces Qui-Gon’s words. “I’m sorry.”  _

_ Obi-Wan shakes his head. He wants to say that he understands, that it’s alright. But he’s pushed away and- _

He wakes up screaming. His hands claw at his head and his eyes are clenched shut. He thinks he hears crying and something breaking. Obi-Wan forces his eyes open and his heart drops. 

He’s with Owen and Beru. Luke is the one crying. The sound of something breaking-

“No.” He whispers out, taking in the carnage before him. Chairs are tipped over, the table in the dining room is overturned. Bricks are cracked and glass is shattered. 

Owen is slumped against the wall with blood trickling down his forehead. Beru sits next to him with a hand on his arm. She looks over at the trembling Jedi.

“Ben,” She says his name quietly, as though trying not to spook him.

Ben shakes his head and gathers himself up quickly.  _ What have I done?  _ He did this. He caused this family pain. Why? Because of- 

His eyes widen and he rushes to stand. 

He can’t stay here. He’s hurt them. He’s hurt their trust and he won’t do it again. 

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, snatching his pack from the ground and rushing out the door without another look back. 

They’re safer without him. He won’t cause them more pain. He can’t.

He ends up back at his little hovel and waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my guy, but. why? the plot thickens? yes?


	15. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I've never seen Star Wars Rebels.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

His hands shook as he carved the wood with careful strokes. He was exhausted. He couldn’t see straight, but he couldn’t sleep. Sleeping would only make things worse. 

He blew a breath of air against the carving to brush away the shavings. A shaky sigh left Ben’s throat as he leaned his head back against the wall. 

The floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to be, but when he fell earlier he didn’t have the strength to get back up. So, he sat there in his dirty tunics in his hovel with the partially carved Fighter in his hands and continued on. 

He didn’t do much these days except make carvings for Luke. In total, he had only made about 10 for the boy. They ranged from different Fighters to AT-AT’s to doids. It gave him something to do. He kept his mind closed off as well as he could, but made sure to keep a little part of his shields down so he could keep an eye on Luke.

Those rare moments when he did see the boy when dropping off the carvings were the happiest moments of his life. True, he never got close enough to actually touch or talk to the boy, but seeing him from a distance was enough.

It had only been 2 weeks since Ben rushed out of the home of Owen and Beru Lars. His mind and heart still ache at what he had done. He caused the family pain and it was something he never wanted to do again. Which brought him here.

He returned to his home that day and set about his business. That is to say, he took care of the vaporators and made carvings for Luke. Eating and sleeping were on the back of his mind and though he made sure to eat at least once or even twice a day, he could almost hear Qui-Gon sighing and rolling his eyes though speaking with kindness and concern.

_ “A few bits of stew a day will do nothing for you Padawan. You need to keep your strength up.”  _ Or, at other times when he would skip sleep (though that happened every night) and read instead saying  _ “You will lose yourself if you keep this up. Lack of sleep has never done anyone much good. Least of all a Jedi.”  _ But he couldn’t sleep.

“I can’t sleep. Don’t you get it? If I sleep, he’ll find me.” He whispered with a hoarse voice into the empty room. He expected no answer. His Master wasn’t there. 

No, his Master hadn’t returned to Ben since that fateful day. For all Ben knew, Qui-Gon was either still keeping Vader at bay, or he had lost and was sent careening out and into the Force. 

“What do I do?” Ben asked himself, finally finishing with the carving and letting it rest against the ground he sat on. He put his hands in his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t know what to do next.” A shaky exhale seemed to wrack his whole body. “I need to watch Luke, but I can’t get too close like this. I should get off the planet and get as far away as I can. Though, again, I have to watch Luke.” An unbidden image floated in his mind. It was of a baby with dark hair and big round eyes. She looked like Padme, and Ben knew instantly who it was. “Leia.” His smile was trembling and his eyes watered at the thought of the other Skywalker sibling. He didn’t know how Leia was or if she was starting to show abilities in the Force. “I hope Bail is having an easier go at this than I am.”

As if hearing his name even though it was spoken planets away from Alderaan, Ben’s comlink beeped.

His head whipped up and he eyed the flashing device with worry. Bail was the only one that had his comlink code. He was the only one that could contact him, though they both agreed they would only contact one another if it was of the utmost urgency. 

Swallowing thickly, Ben put the knife he was using down and pushed himself up. The world swayed and he pressed a hand against the wall to steady himself. Once everything was still, he made his way carefully over to the device and answered the call. 

Bail Organa’s image was a welcome sight. Though the two had a slightly rocky beginning, they had quickly become friends. 

“Bail.” Ben breathed out the name and smiled widely at the man. Bail’s blue, staticy image smiled back at him.

“Obi-Wan. It’s good to see you.” Bail greeted. Ben nodded to him to convey his similar feelings. “Though, you look a little off, my friend.” Ben frowned. Had he been that easy to read? “Have you been sleeping?” Concern colored Bail’s voice and Ben gave him a sheepish smile.

“Something’s come up.” He replied. “I can’t go into details.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?” Ben bit his lip and a sigh left the Senator’s mouth. “Nevermind that then.” Ben was grateful Bail knew when to drop something. He didn’t think he could go through with an explanation. “I have something important to tell you.” Ben shifted on his feet. “Someone’s coming to meet with you. They have information on the Clone’s that I think you’d like to know.” 

Ben’s heart stuttered and his vision whited out.

“The Clones?” His voice sounded faint even to his own ears. 

“Obi-Wan?” 

“Did you know there are Clones on Tatooine?” He couldn’t hear himself over the noise in his ears. “Cody’s here Bail.”

Bail sucked in a tight breath. “Are you alright?”

Ben nodded though that caused the room to spin.

“I was hidden when he questioned Luke’s family. He doesn’t know I’m here.” Ben clears his throat and gently sits down as he tries to get the world to stop spinning. “Who’s coming to meet me?” Changing the subject was something Ben was good at. He did it this time in the hopes that he would be able to breathe again.

“I can’t tell you their name. Just know they’re called Fulcrum. They’ll be there in 1 day. Maybe 2. I’ve sent the coordinates to them. They’ll know where to find you.” Ben couldn’t hear. Why couldn’t he hear? “Ben?” 

“Bail?” His vision was spotty and his world was spinning. “I think I’ll have to call you back.” 

“Ben!” 

The comlink fell from Ben’s limp hand. 

Bail Organa watched as Obi-Wan’s eyes slipped shut and his body tumbled to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new tumblr. This time I'll actually be able to talk to you if you want! It's still under meantforinfinitesadness but this time it's a primary blog. So i don't have to worry about accidentally use the wrong one. So, hit me up if you like! Though I am moving all the posts to that blog so it's a lot of reblogging therefore I don't recommend following me for a while unless you just want your dashboard to be me...


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you're all doing well! If not, I'm sorry and I hope everything gets better for you! I'm always here if you need to chat.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

“Ben?” It’s unbearably hot and Ben would think he was on Mustafar once more except for the strange coolness on his forehead keeping him grounded in reality. “Can you hear me?” It was dark and it was hot. He didn’t know where he was and he didn’t know who was talking to him.

“I don’t think he can. He was very sick when I found him.” A different voice. A deeper voice that triggered some small recognition in Ben’s mind.

Before he could open his eyes and reply, darkness carried him away once more. 

\--

It’s hard to breathe the next time he regains a form of consciousness. His forehead is still covered in something cool, and he’s not as hot as he was before. His eyes flicker and the world is blurry when he finally gets them open.

A man and a woman stand before him. He thinks there’s worry on their faces, but he can’t be too sure.

_ “Obi-Wan?”  _ Ben knows that name. He knows he’s heard it somewhere before.  _ “Padawan, can you hear me?” _ Padawan? He knows that word too. 

“Ben?” A different voice this time, though he heard it the first time he woke up. The woman standing before him is brushing his hair out of his face and he gives her a small, tired smile. “Do you know where you are?” It hurts to think, but he tries anyway.

That proves to be a bit too much for his mind as he slowly succumbs to sleep once more.

\--

The cloth is still there when he wakes for a third time. 

“He’s awake again.” A soft voice says. Ben breathes for a moment while he claws his way out of his sleep. 

“Beru?” He can’t hear his own voice very well, but he can’t imagine it sounds good. His eyes flicker open once more and he meets the worried face of Beru Lars. 

She lets out a loud sigh and her body slumps. “Ben, you idiot.” 

Ben raises an eyebrow but the movement disrupts the cloth against his brow. It slides down and onto the surface beneath him. Ben grumbles at the loss of the cool cloth and tries to grab it. 

He finds that his arms are too weak and embarrassment takes over. Beru huffs out a laugh and Ben just smiles sheepishly back at her. The woman takes the cloth and wets it once more before placing it back on Ben’s brow. 

“What happened?” He asks.

“You don’t remember?” Beru nods as she thinks. Ben waits patiently and tries to gather his memories of what could have led to this moment. “Luke wouldn’t stop crying. No matter what we did, he wouldn’t stop. It took us an hour to realize that it was probably because of you.” Beru pauses and Ben waits again. “Owen went to find you. He checked your home first and he found you there. You had fallen to the floor and you weren’t responding to anything. Bail Organa was trying to wake you.”  _ Bail? _ “He explained to Owen that you two had been talking. Someone by the name of Fulcrum is supposed to be here later today. He explained everything.” 

“When was the last time you slept?” Owen’s voice is softer than normal and Ben thinks over his question. He couldn’t quite understand why he was concerned about that.

Then, the memories hit him.

Ben bolted upright and tried to leave the bed, but he was too weak to move on his own. He tumbled out of the bed and Owen barely caught him.

“Woah! Relax, it’s alright.” Owen helps the Jedi back into the bed he was laying on. “I’m guessing things are coming back to you.”

“I hurt you. I hurt you and I left. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know if it’ll happen again.” He was rambling. That was something Ben was very good at. “I need to leave.” 

Owen shakes his head and presses the man further back into the bed. Beru replaced the cloth on his head once more.

“When was the last time you slept?” Owen asks once more. Ben bites his lip and thinks, knowing they won’t let him leave until they at least get an answer. 

“2 weeks, maybe.” Silence floods Ben’s ears and he closes his eyes. “I couldn’t risk it.” He mumbles as he thinks. “Anakin’s using our bond to talk to me. That’s what happened that day.” He swallows thickly and opens his eyes to gaze at the couple in front of him. “I must have lashed out in my fear. Qui-Gon was somehow in my mind with me and he managed to keep Anakin at bay, but I was worried. I couldn’t fall asleep with the knowledge that Anakin could access the bond again and find me. I didn’t know if Qui-Gon was still there or not. I hadn’t heard from him.”

“I don’t know anything about your Jedi mumbo-jumbo, but that was the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.” Owen’s voice is still soft but it carries an edge of hardness to it. “Yeah, you were scared and you lashed out, but you didn’t mean to. We fixed the things that broke and we healed. Ben, we were worried about you. Every time we tried to find you, something blocked us. If it wasn’t for Luke, you could be dead.” Ben doesn’t speak. He doesn’t think he can. Owen sighs and places a hand on Ben’s leg. “Now, we’ve got this Fulcrum person coming by in a few hours. Try and get some rest and if you feel up to it later, you can eat some food.”

Ben nods, knowing he can’t really say no. He has to be at least slightly better before this mysterious Fulcrum comes to visit. So, Ben falls asleep and basks in the warmth of the Force and in his Master.

By the time he wakes up again, he feels infinitely better than the other times he was awake. He’s able to sit up and eat and the Lars couple even lets him shuffle around the home. 

He still feels shaky and slightly weak, but at least he’s able to move about.

“You know we’re gonna have to talk about what happened soon, right?” Owen asks from his spot next to Ben. Ben twiddles his fingers and bunches the fabric of his sleep clothes in his hands. He nods, reluctant about having to think about the subject. “Good.” Owen grips Ben on his shoulder and sends him a smile. Ben sends him a smaller one back.

A few resounding knocks echo through the home. Beru appears at the edge of the kitchen with Luke in her arms. Ben’s hands shake as he stands and makes his way slowly over to the door. He can feel Owen close behind him, ready to catch the Jedi in case his strength fails him.

The door opens.

A Togruta that’s all too familiar to Ben stands in the entrance. Her face breaks out into a soft smile.

“Obi-Wan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's arrived. And yes, you will be getting a double update today.
> 
> Again, I thank you all so much for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks (AHHHH BOOKMARKS!!!) you have been leaving. It warms my cold heart to see this monster getting some love.


	17. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it be! The reunion! It's not the best, but i tried.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

“It’s Ben, actually.” He mentally yells at himself at the words spilling from his mouth. What a way to greet your Grand-Padawan.

“Ben.” Ahsoka nods. “Kenobi?”

“Kenobi.” It takes Ahsoka all of 2 seconds after he replies for her to launch herself at him. Ben barely catches her, though his body is still weak and he stumbles at the added weight. 

“I’m so glad you’re alright.” 

A snort from behind the two Jedi has Ben rolling his eyes.

“‘Alright’ isn’t the word that I’d use.” Ahsoka releases Ben from her grip at the sound of Owen’s voice. Ben wobbles as the weight suddenly leaves and a hand latches onto his elbow. “He’s alive, but I wouldn’t say he’s alright.” 

Ahsoka eyes Owen carefully as though she’s sizing him up. Owen merely laughs and drags Ben to the couch. Ben lands ungracefully on the cushions and Beru forces a bowl of soup into his hands. She places a hand on his forehead and Ben leans into the cool touch.

“You’re still too warm.” Beru sighs as she brushes his hair from his forehead. Ben hums and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them once more. Ahsoka stands not too far away and shuffles her feet. Beru takes notice as well and smiles gently at her. “Take a seat. It’s clear that you two have some things you need to talk about.” Ahsoka nods and sits a good amount of space away from Ben. “Don’t rile him up. He’s been sick and though he’s finally getting a little better, we’d rather he not fall ill again.” It’s a warning and Ben knows Ahsoka will try to be wary of it.

Beru places a hand on Ben’s shoulder and squeezes it gently before leaving the two in peace.

“What are you doing here?” His voice isn’t harsh but does have a little coldness in it. He blames it on the sickness, but he knows there’s a part of him that aches at their parting. Ahsoka seems to see something in his eyes because she thinks a moment or two before finding the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry.” She says and Ben doesn’t say anything. He drinks some of the soup carefully. “I wasn’t thinking when I said the things I said to you.” Ben hums and drinks some more soup. “What I said was wrong. I didn’t think about how much Satine meant to you.” Ben flinches at the name. “It wasn’t right. Bo-Katan had no right to accuse you either. You were hurting. We were just so caught up in everything-”

“It’s alright.” His tired voice reassures her. He gives her a small smile that seems to calm some of her worries.

“I just didn’t think about you. You held the Code so close to your heart, and I-”

“You and I are very different. I understand that you have trouble seeing things the way I do, but Ahsoka, it still hurt terribly.” 

Ahsoka falls still at that. Ben had never admitted that to anyone. They’re parting hurt him and it still does. He released any sort of anger or frustration he had felt that day, and he didn’t think about it often.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks and Ben notices tears in her eyes. 

“So am I.” He says. She shakes her head and pulls him into a hug, careful of the soup still in his hands. After a few minutes, she releases him and he clears his throat. After drinking the last of his soup and placing the bowl on the low table in front of him, he faces her and gives her all of his attention. “Now, Bail said you had something to tell me about the Clones?” He’s dreading whatever she has to say, but he’ll listen. He has to.

Ahsoka nods and clears her throat as well. 

“It’s . . .it’s about the purge.” Ben’s breathing hitches as the subject of a few of his nightmares is brought up. “The Clones . . .what did you know about the chips in their heads?” 

Ben closes his eyes and thinks back. A wave of sadness rushes over him.

“I know the Kaminoans put them there to control their aggression.” He remembered that discussion. He wasn’t happy and he spent a long time meditating and sparring after hearing that fact. “Why?”

“Ok, try to stay calm.” 

“Ahsoka?” Worry crawls through him, digging deep into his soul.

“The chips weren’t just to control their aggression. They had commands placed in them. Orders, I guess.” She bites her lip and keeps her eyes on the ground. “Sidious placed one order in there. It’s called Order 66. It labels all the Jedi as traitors and upon receiving the order, they lost their free will and did as was commanded.” Ben’s breathing stops as he thinks this over.

“It wasn’t them.” He whispers. “They didn’t-”

“You know they would never do any harm to the Jedi on their own free will.”

“Sidious gave the order,” Ben repeats the thought. “But how-”

“I don’t know everything.” Ahsoka stops him with a hand held up between them. “I was just informed by some close friends.” 

Ben takes in her small smile. He smiles back at her softly. “Rex?”

Ahsoka nods, her smile still in place. “A few of the Clones were able to get their chips out.” 

“That’s wonderful news.” Ben’s smile falls as he remembers one small detail. “Ahsoka,” Ahsoka’s own smile falls as she takes in his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Cody’s on Tatooine.” She freezes at Ben’s words and Ben casts his eyes down. “It seems that our old friends are being deployed to planets, hunting down any Jedi that may have survived, and keeping the peace.” His voice is soft and his eyes close. 

“I’m so sorry.” Her hand takes his and she squeezes it gently. The silence between them isn’t awkward, but Ben would like it gone sooner rather than later. Ahsoka seems to hear his plea and breaks the silence. “We can get his chip out.” 

Ben shakes his head. “We can’t get any medical help here that would be willing to do anything for him. We can’t take him off the planet because there’s no way to keep him down.”

“Could we deactivate it?” She asks.

Ben looks at her with wide eyes.

“We could.” He nods and brings the hand that Ahsoka isn’t holding up to his chin. He stroked his beard and thinks hard about it. Ahsoka lets out a chuckle and Ben looks at her. “What?” She gestures to his hand and his face goes red.

“I’ve missed that.” She says softly. Ben smiles sheepishly. “You really think we can save Cody?” 

Ben sobers up quickly. “I do. However, that would mean rooting through his mind and finding the chip. I’ve already been in there once.” He shakes his head and looks at her. “There are shields and traps guarding his memories and quite possibly the chip. We would have to keep him sedated, however we can.” Ahsoka nods and her eyes are understanding. “Give me a few days to get better. Once I’m strong enough, we can start planning.”

“Alright. You’re the boss.” They smile at each other and they bask in the feeling of seeing each other again. “So, tell me what’s been happening with you.” Ben smiles and delves right into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, no there's not going to be any of Ahsoka and Obi-Wan bonding in the next chapter. Things are moving along. However, if you'd like to see their conversation, please let me know. Maybe I'll put another fic in this series just for that.


	18. 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! This fic is getting long!!!! Don't you think????
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

2 days after Ahsoka arrived, Ben was feeling slightly better. He still felt shaky at times and would often need help with stairs. He cursed himself for his predicament, but deep down he knew it was his own fault.

He let his fear consume him and it got him sick. He was so worried about Anakin finding him and about Qui-Gon protecting him that he didn’t think about himself and what it might do to him and others around him.

Thankfully, he was able to sleep. Ahsoka stook watch over him most times, but he could also feel the shields Qui-Gon built around his mind. He knew they would hold for some time. He just hoped they would last for a longer time than they might.

“Thank you,” Owen whispers to him. Ben raises an eyebrow and meets the other man’s eyes.

“What for?” He couldn’t think of any reason Owen would have to thank him. He’s done nothing but worry the man. Surely he can’t be thanking the Jedi for that.

“The toys. For Luke.” Owen smiled at him with a deep gratitude that Ben felt in the Force. “He loves them.” The two turn to watch Luke on the ground. He can’t do much more than slightly pick them up, but Ahsoka’s on the ground with him almost every hour of every day helping him play with them. “We found the one on the floor in your hut,” Owen says as he rummages through the bag at his feet. He pulls out the Fighter Ben had been working on before his talk with Bail, and before his untimely slip into unconsciousness. Owen hands the small Fighter over and Ben turns it over in his hands. He smiles softly at the unfinished toy. “I thought you might want to finish it.” Ben looks back up at Owen and nods.

“I would like that very much.” He replies.

“Ben!” Beru yells for him from the kitchen. “Your commlink is going off!” 

Ben cocks his head and rises from the couch. He wobbles slightly as the world goes gray, but Owen’s got a grip on him as he gathers his balance. Ben smiles weakly at the taller man and makes his way slowly to the beeping comm. Bail is the only one that would be calling him, and Ben can only wonder in slight fear about why he would be calling.

Ben sits at the table and answers the comm. Bail Organa fills his vision and Ben has the mind to smile sheepishly at the cross man. Bail’s arms are folded in front of his chest and he’s got a slight glower on his face that Ben grimaces at.

“Hello, Senator Organa. What can I-”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Bail’s voice is deadly calm as it cuts the Jedi off and Ben curls into himself. “I don’t know what’s been going through your head, but I’m sure it’s been nothing good.” 

Ben shifts and coughs to clear his throat. 

“Bail, dear, don’t stress him out.” Breha Organa’s soothing voice calms Ben’s nerves slightly. “You know he didn’t mean to.” Bail seems to deflate a little at his wife’s words. 

“You’re right.” He says with a soft sigh.

“I know.” Bail rolls his eyes at his wife and smiles at Ben who flashes a smile back. “I was worried about you. I couldn’t see it, but I knew you were paler than usual. I could see the bags under your eyes and you looked tired. When you collapsed, I feared the worst. What’s happened?” Ben feels guilt wash over him immediately. 

“I’ve had a problem with my mind.” He begins softly. He knows Bail can pick up on the words he’s speaking. “One night, I was sleeping.” A scoff leaves Bail’s mouth.

“That’s hard to believe.” The Senator mumbles and Ben rolls his eyes playfully.

“Yes, I know.” Ben chuckles and relaunches back into the tale. “I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. It was much worse. Anak-” Ben cuts himself off and clears his throat. His hands are clutched together tightly and pressed between his legs. “Vader was there. He was trying to get further into my mind. I could feel him pressing deeper and deeper. It was cold and dark and I couldn’t do anything. I fought off the dark as best as I could.” Ben shakes his head. “He sent out the Clones to every planet. He’s trying to find survivors of the purge, but-”

“He wants you.” Bails breathes out and Ben squeezes his eyes shut, but nods his head. Bail releases a shaky breath.

“He has no idea where I am, but he sent Cody after me. He said that Cody would be able to find me.” Ben shrugs his shoulders. “I should have guessed that. Cody’s always been good at finding me.” He opens his eyes and looks at Bail. “Vader doesn’t know I’m on Tatooine. That’s what he was trying to find out. He didn’t get far enough into my mind. My former Master showed up just in time. He’s built shields to help keep Vader away.” 

Bail nods as he takes in the information, then asks, “Are you alright now?” 

“I’m doing better. That’s why I haven’t been sleeping. I was worried he would find me. I didn’t know what was going on in my mind, so I didn’t risk anything.” Ben replies honestly.

“You’re being looked after, though, right?” The concern in Bail’s voice warms Ben’s soul and he smiles brightly.

“I am. Owen and Beru have been very kind to me. I’ve been sick and as much as I hate to bother them-”

“They don’t think you’re a bother.” Bail says. 

Ben inclines his head and laughs a little. “No. They think I’m an idiot.” 

“I don’t blame them.” The two laugh a little before Bail sobers up. “Did she find you?” Ben knows who he’s talking about and the Jedi straightens up.

“Yes. She’s here with us now. She told me what she knew.”

“What are you going to do?” The Senator asks. Ben bites his lip and doesn’t meet Bail’s eyes. Bail knows the man too well and just sighs. “You’re going to try and save Cody.” It’s a fact. It’s a statement and Ben doesn’t reply to it. “Just be careful. We can’t lose you.” Ben furrows his brow. “Not in any way you seem to think.” Bail’s eyes are hard and Ben berates himself for thinking the thought. “We’re not keeping you around for bait.” Ben winces as his thoughts are spoken by Bail. “We’re keeping you around because we care about you. We want to keep you safe.” 

Ben softens a little and smiles at his friend. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Bail shakes his head and breathes out a laugh. “May the Force be with you, old friend.”

“May the Force be with you, Senator.” 

Organa’s image fizzes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone else interested, i will be attempting the little conversation between Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. That will be a whole other part just like Never Alone is. Have no fear, I am still working on that part as well. It's just taking time. So, don't worry. I'm not leaving it.
> 
> Again, thanks to all that have commented, left kudos, bookmarked and everything else!!!! It warms my cold, dead heart and I hope you're all enjoying this train wreck just as much as I am!!!!


	19. 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is happening!!!!!!
> 
> Also, I wrote this very when I was very sleep deprived and just tired and you'll be able to see that. I finished it just barely so I hope it works out alright.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

2 months. It took Ben 2 months to feel completely better and to get his strength to a level he felt comfortable was enough for what he was planning.

2 months. 

2 months since Ahsoka arrived. 

2 months since he found out what really happened with his Troops. 

2 months since Vader tried to find him.

2 months brought a lot. Luke was 5 months now. He was growing in body and in his abilities with the Force. 

That worried Ben. He had to constantly reinforce the child's shields and his own. Though he was lucky Ahsoka was with him. She was a very fast learner and did what she could to help Ben with Luke.

It had been 1 month since Beru and Owen sat him down and spoke to him about family.

_ "You're just as much his family as we are," Owen said, catching Ben's eyes as the Jedi tried to lower them. "You're like a father to him." Ben shook his head and looked Owen in the eyes. _

_ "I'm grateful that you think that, but I don't think-" _

_ "An Uncle then." Beru cuts him off and smiles at him. "You'll be his Uncle." Ben returns her smile and even laughed a bit. _

_ "It's funny you would say that. That was one of the last things I spoke to Master Yoda about. I can't be a father to Luke, but I would love to be an Uncle." _

That made his status official. Ben had a family again.

He missed that. It was strange to have it again.

_ "Ahsoka can be his Aunt," Beru said with a smile directed at Ahsoka's surprised face. Ben smiled with Beru and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.  _

A family.

A family that wasn't too impressed with his plan. Owen's blank face said everything he needed to know.

"That's your plan?" Owen asked, eyes darting from Beru to Ahsoka then to Ben. "Find Cody, knock him out while hoping he doesn't shoot you on sight or alert the Empire, drag him back here, take a deep dive into his very dangerous mind, hope you don't lose your mind in the process, and deactivate the chip." Silence drapes over the occupants in the room as they all stare at Ben.

For his part, the Jedi is doing his best to not shuffle around.

"Yes." Ben smiles as he answers, meeting Owen's eyes. "You don't think it'll work?" 

Owen raised a disbelieving eyebrow and turned to Ahsoka. He asks her, "Has he always been like this?" 

"Acting with no regard to his own well being? Coming up with ridiculous plans that could get him killed?" Ahsoka pauses and pretends to think while Ben rolls his eyes. "Yeah. He's been like that the whole time I've known him." 

Owen nods. "Good to know."

"Listen. I know you're skeptical. You have to trust me." Ben pleads with his new family (one day he'll stop calling them "new" and just call them his family). "If you can think of a better way, please tell me."

It's as if the Force was ready to give Ben a break. It's as if Qui-Gon rolled his eyes and called upon the power of the Force in his afterlife because a knock sounds on the door.

A knock that has everyone pausing and looking warily at the door.

"Open up!" It's a Stormtrooper. But, it's not just any Stormtrooper. It's-

"Cody." Ben breathed the name out while keeping his eyes on the door. "It's Cody." 

Ahsoka watches Ben and the two lock eyes. They understand that there was some interference from somewhere, and Ahsoka gives Ben a smug look.

Owen ignores the battle of sass going on between the two and instead goes to answer the door.

Beru goes to the back with Luke. Ben and Ahsoka rise, making their way to the door. They keep themselves out of sight and wait. 

Ben’s heart is racing and Ahsoka sends him calm waves. He smiles at her, hoping his gratefulness is felt through the thin smile. 

“What can I do for you?” Owen asks, and Ben startles. He hadn’t heard the door opening. He hadn’t heard a greeting. He forced himself to focus on the rest of the conversation whilst also keeping Ahsoka in his mind. However, Ben’s mind misses whatever Cody says next. He puts his focus into carefully slipping into Cody’s mind. “Please, come in.” Owen’s voice is friendly on the surface. 

The heavy steps of Cody echo in Ben’s mind. He swallows thickly and locks eyes with Ahsoka. They nod to each other and wait for Cody to be in the home. 

Ben’s vision is overtaken by the white of the Stormtrooper armor and his breathing hitches before he brings himself back into focus. He slams his whole mental being into Cody’s. He feels Ahsoka’s presence doing the same, and it doesn’t take much to get Cody to slip into unconsciousness.

Ben’s breathing is harsh as he kneels on the ground. Cody’s helmet is taken off and Ben bites back a gasp. He looked just as he did on Utapau a few months ago. 

“Ready?” Ahsoka’s question shocks Ben into awareness. He looks around him to see Owen and Beru on the couch and Ahsoka kneeling a few inches from him. 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

Ahsoka huffs out a laugh. “I’ll be here. I won’t interfere, but I’ll keep an eye on you both.” Ben inclines his head at her words and shifts Cody’s head to rest on his folded knees. “Don’t get lost in there, alright?” 

Ben lifts a corner of his mouth and looks at her once more.

“I’ll do my best.” With that, Ben places his hands on Cody’s temples, breathes in deep, gathers the Force around him, and plunges into Cody’s mind.


	20. 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You read that right. It's the last chapter.
> 
> It's super long. I'm so sorry. I didn't know where to cut off at. I didn't know where to break it into other chapters. None of it makes sense but i did what I could, so forgive me.
> 
> By the time y'all see this it'll probably be May 4th so. Yeah. Celebrate! Have fun! Read some good fics (not this one that's for sure)! Cry about Star Wars and your favorite characters! Rejoice in the epicness that is Star Wars! Have fun with lightsabers or holocrons or whatever you have that is Star Wars!!! I know I'm gonna wear my robe and hang out with my little Obi-Wan TsumTsum. It's gonna be great!
> 
> May the Force be with you.
> 
> Minor edits made 8/18/20

Ben feels off. He knows where he is. He’s been here before, but it’s different. Where it was once bright and sunny, Cody’s mind is dark and cold. Ben knows the cold is just in his mind, but he shivers and crosses his arms. 

There’s nothing around him. There’s no doors or gates. There’s nothing that could help him on his quest to fix Cody.

“Obi-Wan?” A voice calls. Ben’s breathing hitches and he turns. Cody’s there, just a few paces away from him. He’s wearing civilian clothing and Ben’s heart melts at the sight.

“Cody.” Ben breathes out his friend’s name. Cody looks confused and wary of what’s happening, and Ben can’t really blame him. “Do you know what this is?” 

Cody’s head swivels as he takes in the darkness around them.

“My mind.” He observes. Ben nods but makes no move to approach his Commander. “Why are we here?” 

Ben doesn’t know what he should tell Cody. He doesn’t know what things could have consequences.

“Your mind is very difficult right now.” Ben supplies with a laugh. “When I first entered it, it was a patchwork of shields. Do you know why?” A wind seems to pick up and Ben huddles into himself a bit more. He closes his eyes and waits for the wind to die down.

When it does, Ben looks around carefully.

It’s still cold, but it’s no longer dark. Ben and Cody are standing outside a bubble. 

“What is this?” Ben asks, placing his hand against the bubble. His body seizes as electricity rages through him. He’s flung back against the currents and he lands in a heap at Cody’s feet. He aches but he looks up at the Commander. His breathing hitches. It’s not the Cody that he knows anymore. “Cody?” The blank face of a Stormtrooper helmet gazes down at him. Ben scrambles to his feet. 

“Traitor.” Ben flinches at the harsh way the word is thrown at him. 

“Cody, please.” 

Cody takes a step forward, and Ben takes one back. 

“My designation is CC-2224-”

“Your  _ name  _ is Cody.” Ben pushes the words out. Cody shakes his head and takes another step towards Ben. Ben can feel the electricity of the bubble (though, shield seems more appropriate) against his back and he knows he has to move. “You were part of the 212th Attack Batallion,” Ben states, eyes wandering as he tries to see a way out. “You were my Commander.” His eyes flick to the left.  _ I can go that way. _ “You were my friend.” 

Cody pauses and Ben takes this moment to leap to the left and keep running. 

He doesn’t know how long it’s been, but he can’t hear the thumping of Cody’s boots. Ben sucks in air and places his hands on his knees. Once he feels stable enough, he rises and looks around. 

The shields buzz with electricity and Ben takes a step back. He can’t just stay here and look at them. He has to get in. 

“If I can get in, I can find my shields. If I find my shields, I can hopefully find my Cody.” It sounded like a simple enough plan, but he knew there was more to it. Ben swallows and stands across from the shields. He closes his eyes and breathes.

“What are you doing?!” Ben doesn’t pay the voice any attention as he places his hands against the crackle of electricity. The power surges through him, but he welcomes it. He lets it seep into his body and soul. He lets it go deep into him as he sinks deeper into his own mind. Once he feels the time is right, he releases a breath and the electricity with it.

The shields surge with the renewed force of power and Ben takes a weary step back. He stumbles to one knee but watches as a section of the shielding falls. His face splits into a tired grin as he rises.

“What did you do?!” A gruff voice yells. A blaster bolt sears through his leg and Ben cries out. He looks back to see Cody with his raised blaster. Ben sucks in air and pushes his hands out towards Cody. The man flies back and Ben doesn’t wait to see what happens then. He rises and starts on his walk.

His leg buckles and he falls. His hand hovers over the wound and he reaches into the Force. The pain seeps to the back of his mind and Ben rises once more and moves on again. This time, his gait is slower and pained, but he makes it. 

Rather, he almost makes it.

Pain sears through his shoulder and hand. Ben’s eyes widened.  _ Traps. How could I forget the traps?  _ Ben ducks as he feels the slight warning of an oncoming object. He tumbles to the ground and just breathes for a moment.

He can see the next set of shields and almost cries in relief that they aren’t crackling. 

Ben takes stock of himself for a small moment.  _ Right leg has a blaster wound, left shoulder, and hand... _ Ben risks a glance at the appendages.  _ Bleeding. Badly.  _ Though mangled and broken could be the better words to use.  _ Right hand. It’s the only one I’ve got left to use. So, I’ll just drag myself to the shield. Yes, that’ll work. _ His thoughts don’t sound reassuring and he huffs to himself as he gathers his strength. He pulls his body along the ground and every movement sends waves of agony through him. 

His vision is cloudy with tears by the time he makes it to the next shield. He raises his right hand against it and pushes with all his might. The shield shatters and Ben’s head falls to the ground. 

He doesn’t know what’s going to be next, but he doesn’t dare think about it. 

“Obi-Wan?” Ben flinches at the familiar voice. Cody’s back. “Can you hear me?” Ben opens his tired eyes. Boots meet his vision and his eyes track up the boot to the body connected to it. Ben sobs as he sees Cody in his civilian clothes. The man whistles as he takes in the sight of Ben on the floor. “That trap sure did a number on you.” Cody’s hands grasp Ben’s body. There’s no strength left in him that would allow Ben to run away. “What are you doing here?”

“Saving you,” Ben mumbles as Cody begins a slow and careful walk to the next shield. Ben’s head rolls and he glances at Cody. “How are you here?” 

Cody smiles and chuckles. “You met the other me, huh?” Ben hums an affirmative and sags. “This next shield is yours. That’s how I’m here. You’ve got all my memories in there. Safe and tucked away where no one can get them.” Cody informs the wilting Jedi. “I can hold off the other me now that we’re closer. Once we’re in your shields, it’ll just be me.” Cody shifts his hold on Ben and the smaller man grunts.

“And until then?” It’s as if a switch flicks on in Cody as soon as Ben asks the question. The change is sudden and Ben doesn’t even see it happen. His Cody was here at one point, then the next it’s CC-2224.

This Cody growls at Ben and drops him. Ben cries out as he lands and resists the urge to curl into himself.

“Don’t touch those,” Cody growls out. Ben flinches as he retracts his hand from its slow progression to the shields.

“Why not?” The Jedi asks. 

“You’re not supposed to,” Cody replies. 

Ben raises an eyebrow.  _ Alright, I’ll play your game if it brings Cody back.  _

“Why?” His head tilts as he waits for Cody’s answer. 

“You’re not supposed to.” The weak argument surfaces again. 

“That’s not an answer.” Ben shoots back with his response. “There’s a bigger reason, isn't there?” Cody struggles as he thinks about his answer.

“I’ve been ordered not to,” Cody says after thinking about it. Ben nods, waiting for a further explanation. “Lord Vader told me terrible things would happen if I touch them.” 

“Vader told you this?” Ben asks. Cody shakes himself, and Ben thinks that maybe he’s getting Cody back for a while.

“He told CC-2224, but not Cody.” Ben sighs and leans against his shields. Cody smiles. “I’m Cody. I’m allowed to touch them.” Ben brightens slightly as the change between CC-2224 and Cody happens again. 

“Welcome back,” Ben says with a bright smile on his tired face. Cody bends down and picks the weary Jedi up. “Right now, we need to get through shields and get your chip turned off.” 

Cody’s face stills. “What do you mean?”

“The chip. With the Order on it.” 

Cody shakes his head. “The only chip in my head is the one that controls my aggression. There isn’t one with Order’s on it.” 

Ben thinks for a moment.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Ben’s curiosity nibbles at his mind. Cody shifts Ben carefully and struggles to find the answer.

“Handing you your lightsaber on Utapau,” Cody informs him. Ben huffs and closes his eyes.

“Alright, that makes sense.” Ben focuses on the shield in front of him. “I’m sure things aren’t making much sense, but I’ll explain everything later. We have to get past these shields and to the chip.” Ben rests his weight on Cody and shifts so he’s mostly standing upright. His hands shake as he lifts them in front of the shield. He carefully presses them against the shields and pushes with all his strength. He’s shocked to find that it doesn’t take a lot for him to break through the shields. “They’re falling apart.” He mumbles to himself. “The shields I put up for you, they’re crumbling.”

“What a shame.” A new voice enters the space. Ice drips down Ben’s spine. “You thought they would hold up longer?” 

Ben swallows and turns. The eerie image of golden eyes is back. 

“Anakin.” The name slips through Ben’s lips shakily and he tugs Cody closer to him. “What are you doing here?” A haunting laugh echoes in Cody’s mind and Ben shivers at the sound.

“Someone’s trespassing on my Trooper.” Anakin taunts. Cody growls and tugs Ben closer. “Thank you for that.” A screeching sound drives into Ben’s mind and he cries out in pain. His hands clasp his head as he tries to block it out. He can feel Cody’s hands on him, but it barely registers. “I told you Cody would always find you.” Ben’s eyes snap open. He grunts as he pushes Cody behind him. Ben stumbles as the sound continues, but he keeps moving back, drawing strength from Cody. “Where are you, Master?” Ben’s body seizes as the word grates on his mind. Cody’s hands never move from his body.

“That’s none of your business.” Ben pushes out. “You’ll never know.” Ben slams his hands down onto the surface beneath him and Cody, letting out a ragged yell as he does so. Anakin growls out and darkness swoops in. The shields rise nearly a moment too late. The powerful darkness slams against them and Ben risks a glance at it. 

“I’ll find you! You can’t hide forever!” The yellow eyes of Vader seem to glow brighter before blinking out entirely. The force of the shadows fades and Ben falls forward. Cody grips him tight so he doesn’t meet the ground.

“What just happened?” Cody asks.

“Vader just happened.” Ben’s head hurts and his mind feels like it’s been shattered a thousand times over, not to mention that his leg, arm, and shoulder are radiating pain. “He’s using you to find me.” Ben looks up at Cody. “It’ll be alright. All I need to do is break the remaining shield and deactivate the chip.” Cody rolls his eyes.

“Oh, is that all?” 

Ben huffs out a tired laugh. “You think we can’t do it?” 

Cody pulls the tired Jedi to him and tucks him gently against his chest.

“I think we can.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Ben asks and Cody raises an eyebrow at him, glancing at the sorry state of his leg and arm. “I’m fine.” He assures the man. Cody scoffs. “Alright, so I’m bleeding and my mind feels ripped to shreds and yes, he might come back-”

“Then don’t-”

“I’m doing this.” Ben’s voice has a strength behind it that his body doesn’t feel and leaves no room for argument. “I need you back. When I saw you, I knew I needed you back.” Ben hugs Cody as tightly as his battered body can. “Your family needs you.” Cody sags a little in Ben’s hold. “I have so much to tell you, but we don’t have time for that.” Ben starts to move forward, but Cody holds him again and lifts him off his feet. Together, they start the journey. “I don’t know how long we’ll have on these other shields, but I fear we’ll be meeting Vader again sooner than we would like to,” Ben mumbles out as he rests his throbbing head against his Commander’s shoulder.

“How are you going to break the shields? They’re electrified.” Cody poses the question. Ben bites his lip and closes his eyes. “You didn’t think about that, did you?” Ben smiles sheepishly at Cody who rolls his eyes and sighs. 

“I’ll think of something,” Ben says, wishing his voice conveyed something other than weariness.

“As long as it doesn’t get you killed.” Cody’s pace is quick, though he makes sure it doesn’t aggravate Ben’s injuries. Memories fly by them the deeper they go, but Ben can’t take the time to gaze at them. “You put the shields here to keep my memories safe, didn’t you?” Cody asks, a little breathless from the fast pace. “At least, you did before all this happened, right?” 

Ben nods. “You asked for them, remember?” 

“Yeah, but I wanted the important things hidden from the Seppies. These aren’t-”

“They are important. They’re your memories of your family.”

“How were your shields still there?” Ben hums at Cody’s inquiry and keeps his eyes closed as he thinks the question over. There could have been a number of reasons why.

“Well, my first guess is that they were still fairly strong when Vader put the new one’s up. Yes, there’s only a small section, though that must mean they started to fade as time went on.” Ben mumbles to himself as he thinks that reason over. “My second guess is that the shields helped with tracking you.” Ben can feel Cody stiffen at the thought. “It’s a part of me connected to you. However, with how cracked they were, they wouldn’t have been much use to Vader.”

“What would have happened if they did break? Like of their own accord and not by your hand?”

“Your memories might have slipped into the cracks of other shields, or they could have vanished completely. Leaving you with no memory of me, the Republic, your brothers, or any of that.” Cody’s silent as they continue their trek. “I’m sorry,” Ben whispers, opening his eyes to gaze up at Cody. “I wish I could have done more for you.” Cody shakes his head and spares a glance down at Ben.

“You did everything you could have, and more. You did so much for me. You did so much for my brothers.”

All too soon, the tender moment was finished as they neared the crackling shields that surrounded the chip. 

“This is weird.” Cody mumbles.

“What is?” Ben asks as he struggles to break free from Cody’s hold.

“This whole mind thing.” Ben snorts at Cody’s description. “The chip is normal-sized to us, but if everything were to scale-”

“It would be much bigger than this.” Ben finishes for him. “I want you to know that when the shields that Vader placed are broken, and the chip is disabled, your mind will go back to the way it once was.” Cody raised an eyebrow at the Jedi as he slowly put him down.

“How was that?”

“Beautiful.” Cody snorts at Ben’s words and smiles at him. 

“Alright.” Cody allows and Ben laughs then eyes the energy racing along the shield. “You sure about this?”

“I hope not.” Ben freezes at the cold voice and shuts his eyes. “I hope you’re not sure about this.”

“Oh?” Ben asks as he turns his attention to Vader. His mind stops for a moment as he takes in the sight. 

The shadowed figure is gone. In its place is Anakin Skywalker. His eyes are gold and his pale face is framed by wild hair. Ben knows this isn’t how he should look. Ben knows what he should look like.

“You seem disappointed,” Anakin says, tilting his head at Ben. “Do you not like how I look?” Ben stumbles as he tries to back up, and Cody braces him. “Should I fix that?” Another few steps back and Ben can feel the electricity against his back. 

Anakin’s figure changes as Ben’s mind races.  _ How do we get out of here? _ Anakin’s hair melts into his skin. His pale complexion grays out and he’s scarred on every inch of skin that Ben can see.

“Is this better?” His voice is raspy and he takes one stuttered step towards Ben. Cody pulls Ben closer and Ben leans into his hold. “How about this?”

The scene changes.

They’re not in Cody’s mind. 

Heat and flames lick the walls and Ben feels faint as he watches his former Padawan call out in pain. His hand grips at the black beach as he tries to pull himself towards his former Master. His stumps catch fire and it quickly spreads to the rest of his body. 

Ben feels tears run down his face, but he can’t look away. His mind races and he can’t stop the thoughts from coming to his mind. Luke flashes before his eyes. As does Leia. 

The worst thing? The worst thing that comes to his mind is the planet. 

“I found you.” Vader bites out. “Tatooine.” 

Ben’s heart drops.

“Enough!” Ben flinches at the strength of Cody’s yell. The scene freezes and Ben looks up. “This is my mind. Not yours!” The scene fades. They’re back to the darkness that is Cody’s mind. “This is my mind. You have no place here.” Cody takes one menacing step towards Vader who seems surprised as he takes a step back. Ben watches the two and lets himself slide down until he rests on the floor. “You have no power here. Not anymore.” Another menacing step forward from Cody. Another concerned step back for Vader. “Get out.” Vader’s image flickers. Ben readies himself as he places his hands in front of the shield. “I said, GET OUT!” Another flickering, this one stronger than the last.

Ben takes that moment and slams his hands painfully into the jarring field of electricity.

He doesn’t remember what happens next. Not really.

He knows Vader’s image faded. 

He knows Cody slammed all his power into the chip. 

He felt the chip disable.

He felt the jarring feeling of his mind connecting with his body once more.

“Master Kenobi!” Ahsoka’s voice is at the back of the roaring in his mind. He thinks he vomits and he thinks he hears Cody, but that doesn’t matter.

During his last moments of consciousness, Ben relays a message to Ahsoka.

“He knows.” Darkness takes him as Ahsoka stares at him with worry in her eyes. “He knows.”

Ben knows no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously there's a sequel to this that I'm planning, but only if you all want it. I feel like you could read this one and be good to go.
> 
> Yes, I'm still working on Never Alone and the in between with Ahoska and Obi-Wan. Yes, it'll take some time and I'm sorry for that. No, i still don't know anything about Star Wars. Will I ever? Probs not. 
> 
> Seriously, thank you again to all those that have bookmarked/kudos/commented on this fic!!! It's been a wild ride and I'm so grateful to all of you that decided to stick around and read it and go on this adventure with me! I can't tell you how happy it made me every time I would get an email saying this thing got Kudos. Like. I almost cried. I also try to go through all the people that have given these Kudos and check out their profiles. I like to see what other people write/read and so far? Y'all got good taste! I do the same with bookmarks! haven't gotten to the comments yet, but you will get your turn. I promise.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much. It has been so fun and I can't wait to talk to all of you again!


	21. EDITS

Hi! Yes, you read the title right. I'm going through this fic and editing it! Because yes, I'm that person that doesn't edit. Though, when I say editing, I mean I'm going through and just fixing up the dialogue tags. 

It's hard to understand who's speaking with how I used to write the dialogue tags so I'm going through and fixing those. So, don't be alarmed when you see this is being updated, it's just undergoing some fixing. 

I will be doing this with all my fics that have the same dialogue tag issue! 

Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> got requests for more fics? got requests at all? hit me up.


End file.
